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re: Review of Conan the Barbarian

Posted on 8/19/11 at 6:40 pm to
Posted by PurpleandGold Motown
Birmingham, Alabama
Member since Oct 2007
22104 posts
Posted on 8/19/11 at 6:40 pm to
I'm a huge Howard fan so my take on this movie has to pass through the filter of my fandom.

Costuming was great with the exception of the witch. Mamoa really does bring to mind Conan's visceral adrenaline fueled personality. In this respect he is a much better Conan than Arnie. The movie is pretty with some nice sweeping vistas that I enjoyed.

On to the bad.

Pacing sucked. It felt like a 5 hour movie that had been chopped down to the highlights. The story hops from city to city and country side to country side with no sense of distance or time. They are just all of a sudden there. Throughout the movie you are given tantalizing hints of a deep back story concerning several of the characters both good and bad, but those stories are never ever told. Instead the characters are simply two dimensional archetypes.

Nitpicky stuff about the film:
There were six Barbarian chieftains who surrendered to serve Zim, but only three of them are seen and dealt with by Conan.

Come on a sword slicing through a womb and passing inches next to a fetuses head? That's how you open the movie.

Conan was once again supposed to solve the riddle of steel, but he never learned a damn thing about ice did he?

Secondary characters are just there to get Conan somewhere or open a door. None of them are treated like Mako or Gerry Lopez's characters were and actually given something to do.

The hopping around from place to place drove me batshit crazy.

I don't think I'm too picky. This movie coud have been good and Jason Mamoa could have been this generations Conan, but poor writing/editing and direction killed this movie.

They should have focused on one small story and not tried to make an epic. Conan was never about epics. His stories were small, close, gritty and personal.

And another thing... Why does Conan's family always have to die in the movies and why is his Father's sword this big deal. That was never ever in any of the stories.

I think I put 1982 Conan the Barbarian above this one.

Oh and why in a story that is completely non canon do you mention the events that take place in the "Tower of the Elephant"?
This post was edited on 8/19/11 at 6:43 pm
Posted by PsychTiger
Member since Jul 2004
99614 posts
Posted on 8/20/11 at 2:30 pm to
quote:

The hopping around from place to place drove me batshit crazy.


Conan ain't got time for transitions.
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