Why do people think everyone is being honest?

I mean, just because some guy whispers “he’s not coming” doesn’t make it gospel. People lie like it’s their cardio—sometimes for drama, sometimes for a nap. They’re probably just buying time to pick the perfect font for the press release. I don’t know what’s real, what’s fake, or what’s just spicy fan fiction, so I treat every rumor like expired yogurt: sniff, shrug, and wait for the official seal.

**Quit melting like a popsicle in a microwave, champ. The ice cream truck ain’t even turned the corner yet.**