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re: What are women actually attracted to?
Posted on 5/4/24 at 6:01 pm to tigernurse
Posted on 5/4/24 at 6:01 pm to tigernurse
It’s a fine line between gracefully letting the past go and learning the lesson so it doesn’t happen again. There was a poster on here who shall remain nameless who I was having long conversations about true geniune life crushing narcissistic abuse. You never ever want to be there. But it’s impossible not to carry that forward. You need like 3-4 years to decompress and let it work its way out of your system. And then if a later partner triggers that same place in your primitive brain, you are right back in the shite. It’s very hard not to react if someone hits that specific fight or flight response. PTSD is a real thing. And some people always have one foot in the scary past and another in the fearful future. Not good for relationships .
Posted on 5/4/24 at 6:06 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
true geniune life crushing narcissistic abuse. You never ever want to be there. But it’s impossible not to carry that forward. You need like 3-4 years to decompress and let it work its way out of your system.
Oh I’ve been there. And you’re right- it taints your whole life for a while.
But that’s where really good counseling comes into play.
And my perspective is if I’m injured like in a car accident or something as a result of the careless actions of another- I’m going to seek medical treatment.
Same thing for psychological injuries inflicted by others - I sought counseling after my experience with the narcissist. And I’m better for it. I didn’t ask for the trauma- but I’m also too stubborn to stay injured bc of it.
Posted on 5/4/24 at 6:13 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
And then if a later partner triggers that same place in your primitive brain, you are right back in the shite. It’s very hard not to react if someone hits that specific fight or flight response. PTSD is a real thing. And some people always have one foot in the scary past and another in the fearful future. Not good for relationships .
This is why some ppl need counseling.
Life is messy. Sometimes it’s our own fault, sometimes not.
But nonetheless - it distorts our ability to interact in a healthy manner with others and can be triggering.
That’s why imho, really good counseling is so important.
It’s not at all healthy to live both in the past and fearful of the future. That’s a recipe for failure imho.
It’s very helpful to know your own triggers, and to be equipped with the ability to look broadly at the underlying fear and dismantle it before it causes any future problems.
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