re: Divorce Board Spin-Off: If you have been married, why did you get married?

I give my wife one every year…it keeps me out of trouble. My next one will read:

On Our Anniversay

“I hope you like it because you’re stuck with me now. I’ve put up with your shite for far too long to start over and for you to get out of here scott free with half my shite.

Ooooh no…we’re in this shite show for the long haul. Buckle up because we’re only getting uglier and more angry from here.

And if you step out on me I’m not above cutting a motherfricker”

Love

Squatch

ETA - PS You file papers and I’ll burn all this shite to the ground the next day and disappear like Kaiser fricking Soze with all the cash, the dog and a smile on my face.

XXOO