I have coached my son's soccer team (U9) now for several years. He plays in a recreational league. Many boys have stayed with the team, and many of my players are new to the team. The rules do state that I have to play them at least 50% of the match, even if they do not attend practice. I have repeated to my players that my expectations are to not win every match (which would be most desirable). But I am very limited to how I can teach my players about accountability. They need to understand that we are there to have fun, but also to learn and grow. There should be a rule to require players to attend weekly practice(s). It is not fair to other players for them to be able to show up and run around for the match, and not having practice with his teammates. It is a true disservice to the dedicated players that do attend practice.
But to answer your question, it only becomes better if you allow it. Things will not change, so you must change your thoughts and emotions for what is best for the players with the rules enforced by league organizers.
I have learned to enjoy my players during practice and games. I try to think of them as my own sons. I will continue to coach as long as my son needs a coach in order to play every year.

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Posted by Smoke239

Member since Jan 2024

121 posts

Posted on 2/16/24 at 10:46 am to BrianFantana

quote:
This is beyond strange to me... So would you miss your sons games to coach other peoples kids in the same league?

Rarely. The games were usually staggered enough where I could catch my son’s team play. And it was always lot of fun when I would be coaching against him. For him and me.

But on the occasion that I miss one or my wife misses one, it was never a big deal. At that age group, a lot of the kids felt like they had more freedom and less pressure when their parents weren’t there. They could just play the game.

Did I feel like I was missing out? Honestly no. As youth coach you should be doing it to serve the community (not just your own child) even if it comes with sacrifices. These Dads that would only coach their kids and then quit when they were done I thought they were doing it for the wrong reasons.

I never saw missing a couple games here and there as a sacrifice. I live with my kids. I’m involved. I don’t need to be with my kids 24/7 at every event and they don’t want that either.

My daughter is in competitive cheer. She came to me once and told me that mom was embarrassing her at these events by being a typical cheer mom - overzealous, trying to correct my daughters hair and makeup, telling her to smile, embarrassing her among her friends. I told my wife, “look you gotta back off. She’s getting to that age where if you persist, she will shut you out. And the last thing we need is for her to stop talking to us”. And to my wife’s credit she did. She backed off and things were fine.

I’ve found it’s a lot harder for a coach to tell a parent directly to settle down (if you are having issues). But if you broach the topic to the spouse, and they tell that person to chill, it works much better.

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Posted by Park duck