As an adult...

But no movie beats Airplane as a kid.

Almost every line was quoted among friends. Still use the ones in bold.

Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it?
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

(as the plane prepares to take off)
Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.

Rumack: What was it we had for dinner tonight?
Elaine Dickinson: Well, we had a choice of steak or fish.
Rumack: Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue..

Captain Oveur: Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?

Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain Oveur: I can't tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
Captain Oveur: No. I mean I'm just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

Young Boy with Coffee: Excuse me, I happened to be passing, and I thought you might like some coffee.
Little Girl: Oh, that's very nice of you, thank you.
[takes coffee]
Little Girl: Oh, won't you sit down?
Young Boy with Coffee: Cream?
Little Girl: No, thank you, I take it black, like my men.

Elaine Dickinson: Would you like something to read?
Hanging Lady: Do you have anything light?
Elaine Dickinson: How about this leaflet, "Famous Jewish Sports Legends?"

Elaine Dickinson: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking... We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused, this is due to periodic air pockets we encountered, there's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight... By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Randy: Can I get you something?
Second Jive Dude: 'S'mofo butter layin' me to da' BONE! Jackin' me up... tight me!
[Subtitle: I ATE SOMETHING THAT IS MAKING MY INSIDES CRAMP UP]
Randy: I'm sorry, I don't understand.
First Jive Dude: Cutter say 'e can't HANG!
[Subtitle: MY BUDDY HERE SAYS HE CAN'T TAKE THIS FOR MUCH LONGER]
June Cleaver: Oh, stewardess! I speak jive.

Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.
Male announcer: [later] The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.
Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading of passengers and there is no stopping in a RED zone.
Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There's never stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!
Male announcer: Listen, Betty, don't start up with your white zone shite again.
[Later]
Male announcer: There's just no stopping in a white zone.
Female announcer: Oh, really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.

Jack Kirkpatrick: Shanna, they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash.

Elaine Dickinson: It takes so many things to make love last. But most of all, it takes respect, and I can't live with a man I don't respect.
Ted Striker: [turns towards the camera] What a pisser!

Air Controller Macias: Captain, maybe we ought to turn on the searchlights now.
Rex Kramer: No... that's just what they'll be expecting us to do.

Captain Oveur: Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

This post was edited on 2/11/24 at 7:39 pm