quote:
I am so sorry, Hurricane. Praying for you and your wife.

Having gone through virtually the same thing about 20 years ago myself, I would like to offer some advice:

1. It will take you months before you can make it through a day without crying

2. It will take you years before you can make it through a week without crying.

3. I will let you know how long it takes to get thru a month without crying when I find out.

4. Don't let the grief drive a distance between your wife & yourself. Share, talk, hug, cry together. I read somewhere that the divorce rate for parents who go through something like this is shockingly high because it is a huge stress.

5. Get grief counseling. I probably wouldn't be here if I didn't see a psychiatrist to help with the overwhelming pain and grief. Get someone who specializes in grief counseling. Seek out support groups. There are many of us out here (I didn't realize the number of acquaintances that I had that had similar losses until I suffered mine).

6. it will get better because it sure as hell can't get worse...what you went through is probably the worst thing that could happen to a person

I'm glad you got to hold your daughter. I got to hold mine. That's why the worst day of my life is also the best day.

Hang in there brother.

This is me in my office right now:

I can't imagine that kind of pain, and hope I never have to. My wife and I's baby was in the NICU for a few weeks, but we are forever thankful that he was a pretty healthy baby. I can't fathom the pain of having a child and losing it shortly thereafter. It makes me want to cry my eyes out even thinking about it, let alone living through it.

And that feels like great advice in what I quoted above. Fantastic advice (and heartbreaking at the same time). I wish nothing but peace and comfort for all of you that went through something like this.

This post was edited on 11/13/23 at 1:03 pm