re: I never really grasp term gaslighting (NSFW)

The premise comes from a movie in the 40s. I watched it with my wife once. In the movie, the man was basically lying to his wife. For example, she would see the gaslight constantly flickering. But he would lie to her and basically convince her that what she's seeing with her eyes is not actually true. Basically driving her insane.

That's what gaslighting is. Lying to someone, trying to convince them that what they see with their eyes is not actually reality.

Truth be told, it does get thrown around a lot. When my wife started therapy, she all of a sudden started hurling that word at me alot. Our marriage wasnt in a healthy place, she was constantly throwing accusations at me, and tbh that made me want to fight back. It wasn't until we had a mature sitdown, she explained her feelings. "Baby when you did this or said this, it really hurt me. I feel like you never acknowledged my hurt. All you do is say I have no reason to be hurt". Once we approached it from that point of view, we was able to really settle some things and move forward. Oh, and once I knew what that word meant, I was able to have discussions with her on how I feel that she technically gaslit me in different ways.