re: What's the most ridiculous thing a woman has gotten mad at you for?

Absolute rascals on this forum! Charlatans!

I jest (yes, i for once and not my jesters)

Story time

Following an intense Cornell midterm i made the mistake of having my driver bring me over to Yonkers to fetch the future Mrs. S from Sarah Lawrence. We retreated to the Hamptons for what was supposed to be a quiet weekend away from the hub-bubb of university.

She suggested a simple picnic with fresh French bread akin to that served to father and i on a business trip to New Orleans by a strange but friendly vagabond who only spoke to his mother, not to mention the assortment of fine cheeses and the Eastern seaboard’s best olive oil. As i prepared the bread for cutting i heard the bark of a most unscrupulous harbor seal who had the gall to threaten our beachside snack.

“Defense positions!” I yelled, perhaps out of some sort of post traumatic stress disorder related incident taking me back to my Exeter fencing days. I gathered myself but had, in a haze, picked up a piece of driftwood and began to taunt the seal.

“En garde, seal! I say! Retreat to the sea at once or i shall exchange thy blubber for booty!”

Mrs S. (Perhaps either aghast by my behavior or my use of the word “booty” in lieu of something more modern like “loot”) slipped on her Yves Saint-Laurent slippers and made haste towards the bungalow. Disaster!

I dined alone on the beach that night, my friends, though the seal and i made peace by way of a shared admiration for camembert and Chopin’s E minor nocturne.