re: Update since my wife passed away.

I can't imagine or pretend to know your pain and struggles, but I lost my fiancee in a car wreck about a month before our wedding. This happened almost 10 years ago now, and I went through every definition of rock bottom you can think of in that decade following. We didn't have any children and were pretty young, I was 25 at the time and her 27.

I only say this to point out that there is life, love, fulfillment, and happiness on the other end if you're willing and open to let it find you. I married an equally amazing and beautiful woman 2 years ago, after going through that rock bottom and shutting myself out of the world for 7 years after my fiancee died. It was a fluke we met and connected when we did, as I certainly wasn't looking for anything and was content to wallow in my sadness and misery.

We just had our first child, a son, almost 3 weeks ago. I can't imagine where my life would be right now had that never happened to me, but I can say with 100% certainty that I am the happiest and most fulfilled I've ever been.

A few years ago I never would've thought my life would amount to anything and I would be happy, successful, in love, and starting a family. But if you keep hanging on and being grateful to the Lord and stay humble (as you seem to be), there WILL be a payoff for you and a light on the other end of the tunnel.

Hang in there, you've gone through the worst and there's no way to go but up,up, and up. God tends to reward those that stay strong and humble