re: Marriage over or salvageable?

quote:

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I'm in better physical shape than I was when we got married. I probably don't try to her romance her like I used to. One consistent quarrel we have is that I am just about always the one to initiate the sex we have and that aggravates me as I feel like if she really wanted to have sex she would try to initiate it sometimes as well.

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Some women aren’t aroused solely by looks, others not at all after managing the kids and life all day, dishes, house, etc. For women like this, it’s consistently picking up the burden of the daily grind, taking off early here and there to let her go out to dinner with her friends, being thoughtful about ordinary stuff, going out of your way to take care of mundane chores, etc just so she can take a break. Not just on days you want sex, make it a habit and you will see a dramatic difference. When she sees the effort going into her it will translate in a spark you weren’t expecting. The issue is when you are doing these things it’s easy to think “ok now I’m going to be rewarded.”

If you really want to see a change, don’t keep score, just genuinely work on changing and you will get there. At the very least you will have the basis for a much more productive discussion.