re: Groomsmen gifts

You should get them passes to one of those ultra-exclusive hunt clubs where they pick a new, exotic, desolate-or-war-torn locale every few years so that the blood-thirsty members can safely experience the ultimate thrill of hunting man's most cunning adversary: man. Private plane trip to the location; sometimes it's the Canadian Rockies, sometimes New Orleans. Amazing meals. Forming bonds that will never be broken with your compatriots. Sometimes you're hunting a former homeless dude. Sometimes you're hunting a Belgian with a mullet. They'll never forget it.

Or get them a subscription to for those monthly gift boxes where they give you shot glasses or an axe or binos.