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Message

re: You got any Old Guy Sayings?

Posted on 9/24/19 at 3:56 pm to
Posted by 19557LSU
Member since Jan 2018
341 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 3:56 pm to
Tight as Dicks hat ban and it fit like socks on a rooster
Posted by DeltaTigerDelta
Member since Jan 2017
11361 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 4:24 pm to
More effed up than Hector’s goat.
Posted by GAFF
Georgia
Member since Aug 2010
2451 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 4:30 pm to
Feel like I been shot at and missed and shite at and hit

Lord help us all but help me first

I wouldn’t kick her out of bed unless she wanted to frick on the floor

Only time I’d turn her down is if it’s face down

Well shite fire and save matches

Slicker than owl shite

Tail don’t wag the dog around here
Posted by msap9020
Texas
Member since Feb 2015
1284 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 4:31 pm to
That boys so ignorant he couldn't find his arse with both hands.
Posted by DeltaTigerDelta
Member since Jan 2017
11361 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 4:31 pm to
Scenery don’t change unless you’re the lead dog.
Posted by Nicky Parrish
Member since Apr 2016
7098 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 4:55 pm to
quote:

No such thing. Unless we're talking about the weather or something.

LOL
You’re absolutely right.
And I was referring to the weather.
BTW I’m almost 70 and I still like to plow. Good Lord willing and the creek don’t rise.
Just not as often as I use to.


Weatherwise or otherwise
Posted by PurpleAndGoldFinger
Baton Rouge, La.
Member since Aug 2004
1246 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 5:09 pm to
Grandfather used to say "Don't believe anything your hear, and only half of what you see". Also, "He's tight as a crabs arse"
Posted by helluvaday
Member since Jun 2018
443 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 5:16 pm to
My wife has a headache
Posted by Breaux
Member since Nov 2005
3984 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 5:19 pm to
Harder than woodpecker lips

Colder than polar bear toenails

Lost like a bastard on Father’s Day
Posted by MountainTiger
The foot of Mt. Belzoni
Member since Dec 2008
14672 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 5:19 pm to
quote:

Good Lord willing and the creek don’t rise.

That's another good one. My dad stills uses that one occasionally.

How about:
He couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.
Posted by PawnMaster
Down Yonder
Member since Nov 2014
1649 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 5:28 pm to
‘He’s so ugly, his mama has to tie meat around his neck to get the dog to to play with him’

‘I feel like I’ve been shot at and missed, shite at and hit’

‘I’m gonna slap you into next week’

‘I’m gonna slap the taste out your mouth’

‘I’m gonna knock the water out of you”

‘You’re soft as drug store cotton’
This post was edited on 9/24/19 at 8:09 pm
Posted by MBclass83
Member since Oct 2010
9407 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 5:32 pm to
On the shady side of an iceberg.
Posted by FightinTigersDammit
Louisiana North
Member since Mar 2006
34863 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 5:48 pm to
Don't worry about the mule, just load the wagon.
Posted by FightinTigersDammit
Louisiana North
Member since Mar 2006
34863 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 5:55 pm to
quote:

'Don't let your bulldog mouth overload your puppy dog arse'


Baw has an alligator mouth and a hummingbird arse.
Posted by Nicky Parrish
Member since Apr 2016
7098 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 5:58 pm to
quote:

He couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

Good one
Reminded of a guy I used to work with.
Posted by MountainTiger
The foot of Mt. Belzoni
Member since Dec 2008
14672 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 6:03 pm to
You're the one fricking this goat. I'm just holding the horns.
Posted by DeltaTigerDelta
Member since Jan 2017
11361 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 6:24 pm to
My get up and go just got up and went.
Posted by PrivatePublic
Member since Nov 2012
17848 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 6:48 pm to
quote:

...doing pushups in the snow.


The titty is doing the push-ups?

So it's a brass push up bra then.
Posted by Cheese Grits
Wherever I lay my hat is my home
Member since Apr 2012
54952 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 6:53 pm to
quote:

Never heard that one before, pretty sure he just made it up.


Nope

Keep your powder dry comes from the musket days and pretty sure he is not that old. Modern translation is don't rub one out early so you are ready for action tonight.

quote:

I’ll keep plugging away


From the old Dutch when you plug up a dam to keep the flooding at bay. In this case he is banging your wife multiple times and is letting you know so he is technically not lying. Will need pics of your wife to judge his game tho.
Posted by Cheese Grits
Wherever I lay my hat is my home
Member since Apr 2012
54952 posts
Posted on 9/24/19 at 6:55 pm to
quote:

"Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining."


Ripped off from "Outlaw Josey Wales" - at best the dude is middle aged, not old

quote:

"I'm the meanest son of a bitch in 9 parishes"


Old as WWII and probably serious, younger than that and just a Rebel without a Clue.
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