re: You got any Old Guy Sayings?

Hotter than a go cart muffler

If it took a quarter to go around the world i couldn’t make it out of sight

Can’t spell cat even if spotted the C and T

When complaining or giving a shitty opinion....the other person would say....
"That and 2 bits will get you a cup of coffee"

No Roughhousing in here!

'He didn't know whether to shite or go blind'

'Don't know his arse from a hole in the ground'

'tight as a dick's hatband'

'got me stretched out tighter than a banjo string'

'he couldn't run out of sight in two days'

'so broke I can't afford to pay attention'

'Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades'

'lazy as the day is long'

'couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag'

'useless as tits on a boar hog'

'you can't fool me, I can tell a catfish from a gar in 10 foot of muddy water'

‘I’m sweating like a whore in church’

'It's hotter than a methpipe on friday'

'It's colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg'

'I'm hungrier than a bitch wolf with 9 six week old puppies'

'I could eat the south end out of a north bound mule'

'Want in one hand and shite in the other and see which ones fills up faster'

'People in hell want ice water'

'drive on fool, hell ain't half full'

'ABout to get ripped like old drawers'

'fricked up as a fat lady's flip-flop'

"You're as wrong as two boys in bed together"
"You'd frick up a two car funeral"
"You could frick up a wet dream"
"Hard as a Cadillac axle"

Useless as hen shite on a pump handle

Faster than 90 going west

Four pages and no “Get off my lawn.”

If, if , if.... if my aunt had balls she would be my uncle