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re: She finally farted around me
Posted on 9/14/16 at 8:01 pm to Germinator
Posted on 9/14/16 at 8:01 pm to Germinator
My cousin used to have the worst farts (her later found out that he's lactose intolerant). And he used to use them as a weapon.
After dating his now wife for a coupe years, he still held them in. One night, thinking she was cute, decided to pull the covers over his head, and gave him a dutch oven. He just looked over and smiled at her, then said "oh, you've fricked up now."
After dating his now wife for a coupe years, he still held them in. One night, thinking she was cute, decided to pull the covers over his head, and gave him a dutch oven. He just looked over and smiled at her, then said "oh, you've fricked up now."
1
Posted on 9/14/16 at 8:03 pm to CCTider
How romantic
Posted on 9/14/16 at 8:05 pm to Germinator
My wife and I have been together for years and I have no idea where she poops.
Posted on 9/14/16 at 8:07 pm to Germinator
There's two kind of people in the world. Those that fart and those who lie.
Posted on 9/14/16 at 8:08 pm to toosleaux
quote:
She finally farted around me
Posted by Germinator on 3/14/14 at 10:39 pm
quote:
toosleaux
Yep, name checks out..
Posted on 9/14/16 at 8:38 pm to Hopeful Doc
quote:
I distinctly remember a medical school lecture that explicitly states that the opposite it true.
And the ones that refused to accept it all went into general surgery.
Posted on 9/14/16 at 8:38 pm to LNCHBOX
Been with my wife over 8 years.....never happened in front of me. She won't even use the master bathroom if I'm in the bedroom. It would be way too weird to start now.
Posted on 9/14/16 at 8:39 pm to Germinator
Great now you can give her the Turkish Snowcone! 
Posted on 9/14/16 at 8:42 pm to Germinator
No giggles from her?
Posted on 9/14/16 at 9:07 pm to Germinator
Google "mustardsnack"
Posted on 9/14/16 at 9:23 pm to upgrayedd
quote:
The ol Galapagos Gumdrop, huh?
Never heard that one...
Superb!
Posted on 9/14/16 at 9:26 pm to Germinator
quote:
The other night she ripped one in my bed for the first time since we've been together. How do I react to this!
Did it make your eyes water?
Posted on 9/14/16 at 9:32 pm to Germinator
Never speak to her again.
Posted on 9/14/16 at 9:33 pm to Dunk47
quote:
Never heard that one...
Superb!
That's because I just made it up
Posted on 9/14/16 at 9:37 pm to Germinator
I have been married 34 years. Only time she ever passed gas around me we were wrestling on the bed and I jumped on top of her and she let it rip. I laughed so hard I cried, she then proceeded to pummel me. I still adore that little gal to this day.
My advice: get her a ring and seal the deal fool.
My advice: get her a ring and seal the deal fool.
Posted on 9/14/16 at 9:46 pm to ATL-TIGER-732
I met this ugly lesbian once at a party. She was so ugly she couldn't get any of the other lesbians to frick her. I mean bulldog ugly. So ugly her mother looks at her and says I wish I just gave a blow job instead.
So anyway, after I fricked her, she leaned over in the bed and let out a fart that would bring tears to your eyes. She says "one nothing." Then she rips off another one and says " two nothing." I'm wondering what the hell is going on. She says "well since we finished I thought we would have a farting contest."
So I reared back and cut a fart and said "two one." Then I ripped another one and said "two all."
She looked at me and said "you're fricking good."
So she started straining real hard and tried to fart and she shite the bed.
She said " halftime, change sides."
So anyway, after I fricked her, she leaned over in the bed and let out a fart that would bring tears to your eyes. She says "one nothing." Then she rips off another one and says " two nothing." I'm wondering what the hell is going on. She says "well since we finished I thought we would have a farting contest."
So I reared back and cut a fart and said "two one." Then I ripped another one and said "two all."
She looked at me and said "you're fricking good."
So she started straining real hard and tried to fart and she shite the bed.
She said " halftime, change sides."
Posted on 9/14/16 at 9:48 pm to Martini
That's hot
Posted on 9/14/16 at 9:58 pm to KG6
quote:
Been with my wife over 8 years.....never happened in front of me. She won't even use the master bathroom if I'm in the bedroom. It would be way too weird to start now.
Don't you have kids? There is no way your wife hasn't farted in front of you. Literally none.
Posted on 9/14/16 at 9:59 pm to Germinator
kick that nasty slut to teh curb. gross
Posted on 9/14/16 at 10:06 pm to upgrayedd
quote:
She finally farted around me That's hot
It's an old joke. Sounds better than typed.
I've been married 30 years and my wife has crop dusted me maybe half a dozen times.
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