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Started By
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2
Posted on 4/16/09 at 3:32 pm to S
And now for Frank.
quote:
(Mr. Steinbrenner tells the Costanza's George is dead) "WHY THE HELL DID YOU TRADE JAY BUHNER!? HE HAD AN ARM LIKE A ROCKET! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOIN'!"-Frank
quote:
Frank: Move your seat up I'm all cramped back here.
Estelle: It won't move!
Frank: There's a mechanism you just PUSH IT!
George: Dad can't you sit sideways? We are five blocks from the house.
Frank: Sideways? Like an ANIMAL! Because of HER I have to sit like an ANIMAL! SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW!
George: Serenity now?
Frank: The doctor gave me a relaxation tape for my blood pressure. When I get stressed the man on the tape says to say SERENITY NOW!
George: Did he say to yell it?"
Frank: The man wasn't specific.
George: What happened to the screen door? It blew off again.
Estelle: I TOLD YOU TO FIX THAT THING!
Frank: SERENITY NOW!!!!
quote:
Frank: That is one of my cruise shirts! GIVE BACK MY SHIRT YOU SON OF A BITCH!
quote:
Frank: Let me get something straight. The rooster goes with the chicken. Who's having sex with the hen? Something's missing.
Mrs Ross: Something's missing alright...
Mr Ross: The rooster has sex with the chicken and hen.
Frank: That's perverse!
Posted on 4/16/09 at 3:51 pm to Acreboy
"was that wrong?"
George after getting busted having sex with the cleaning lady.
"Cartwright, party of four" at the Chinese restaurant
George after getting busted having sex with the cleaning lady.
"Cartwright, party of four" at the Chinese restaurant
Posted on 4/16/09 at 4:22 pm to Acreboy
quote:
WHY THE HELL DID YOU TRADE JAY BUHNER!? HE HAD AN ARM LIKE A ROCKET! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE DOIN'!"-Frank
I say this all the time very few get it.
quote:
Frank: Sideways? Like an ANIMAL! Because of HER I have to sit like an ANIMAL! SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW!
Posted on 4/16/09 at 4:45 pm to Acreboy
quote:
Jerry: All right. How 'bout this one: let's say you're abducted by aliens.
George: Fine.LINK
Jerry: They haul you aboard the mother ship, take you back to their planet as a curiosity. Now: would you rather be in their zoo, or their circus?
George: I gotta go zoo. I feel like I could set more of my own schedule.
Jerry: But in the circus you get to ride around in the train, see the whole planet!
George: I'm wearing a little hat, I'm jumping through fire.. They're putting their little alien heads in my mouth...
Jerry: At least it's show business...
George: But in the zoo, you know, they might, put a woman in there with me to, uh... you know, get me to mate.
Jerry: What if she's got no interest in you?
George: Then I'm pretty much where I am now. At least I got to take a ride on a spaceship.
I can honestly say I recognized every quote in this thread from Seinfeld and Friends, but I didn't recognize this one. Which episode is that from?
And my favorite is when Kramer calls Jerry from a payphone lost in New York
Jerry: Well what street are you on?
Kramer: I'm at the corner of 1st and 1st. How does a street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe.
Jerry: Well, whats around you?
Kramer: A Ray's Pizza.
Jerry: Original Ray's?
Kramer: Yeah, Original Ray's.
Jerry: Famous Original Ray's?
Kramer: It's just Orgininal's Jerry!
Jerry: Alright Kramer I'm coming to get you. And, remember, no matter what I will find you.
Kramer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!
And the one me and my friends use most frequently, "There were some femininas, major femininas."
This post was edited on 4/16/09 at 4:47 pm
Posted on 4/16/09 at 5:10 pm to DestrehanTiger
Can't believe I didn't see this classic anywhere on here (maybe I just overlooked it):
George: "Ordinarily I wouldn't mind, but..."
Jerry: "But what?"
George: "Well, I just got back from swimming in the pool. And the water was cold..."
Jerry: "Oh, you mean... Shrinkage."
George: "Yes. Significant shrinkage."
Jerry: "So you feel you were shortchanged."
George: "Yes. I mean, if she thinks that's me, she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me."
Then, enter Elaine
George: "Do women know about shrinkage?"
Elaine: "What do you mean, like laundry?"
George: "No..."
Jerry: "Like when a man goes swimming... Afterwards..."
Elaine: "It shrinks?"
Jerry: "Like a frightened turtle."
Elaine: "Why does it shrink?"
George: "It just does."
Elaine: "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
George: "Ordinarily I wouldn't mind, but..."
Jerry: "But what?"
George: "Well, I just got back from swimming in the pool. And the water was cold..."
Jerry: "Oh, you mean... Shrinkage."
George: "Yes. Significant shrinkage."
Jerry: "So you feel you were shortchanged."
George: "Yes. I mean, if she thinks that's me, she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me."
Then, enter Elaine
George: "Do women know about shrinkage?"
Elaine: "What do you mean, like laundry?"
George: "No..."
Jerry: "Like when a man goes swimming... Afterwards..."
Elaine: "It shrinks?"
Jerry: "Like a frightened turtle."
Elaine: "Why does it shrink?"
George: "It just does."
Elaine: "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
Posted on 4/16/09 at 6:23 pm to danfraz
"you're a rabid anti-dentite!"
Posted on 4/16/09 at 6:23 pm to danfraz
(no message)
This post was edited on 4/16/09 at 6:24 pm
Posted on 4/16/09 at 9:36 pm to Acreboy
"I find tinsel distracting."
Frank Costanza
Frank Costanza
Posted on 4/16/09 at 11:32 pm to peon
quote:
"I find tinsel distracting."
festivus for the rest of us
frank and kramer make me laugh the hardest
Posted on 4/16/09 at 11:40 pm to DBG
Jackie Childs. "Look at him he's a mutant"
"Who told you to put a baum on, did I tell you to put the baum on"
"Who told you to put a baum on, did I tell you to put the baum on"
Posted on 4/17/09 at 9:52 am to BOSCEAUX
Joey: "Heads is for ducks, because ducks have heads!"
Chandler: "What kind of scary arse clowns came to your birthday party?"
Chandler: "What kind of scary arse clowns came to your birthday party?"
Posted on 4/17/09 at 12:27 pm to juice4lsu
quote:
The sea was angry that day my friends. - Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly the great beast appeared before me. I tell you he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish.
George Costanza
Best quote of them all!!!!!Posted on 4/18/09 at 1:13 am to SaintLSUnAtl
quote:
SaintLSUnAtl
Jerry: Do you even know what a write-off is?
Kramer: No. Do you?
Jerry: No!
Kramer: But they do. And they're the ones writing it off.
That is a classic one. Damn I can't stop laughing.
Here's one. -----------------
Kramer: "The bus is outta control. So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel, and now I'm driving the bus."
Jerry: "Wow."
George: "You're Batman."
Kramer: "Yeah, yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me. So I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other, ya know. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door, ya know, with my foot, ya know, at the next stop."
Jerry: "You kept making all the stops?"
Kramer: "Well, people kept ringing the bell!"
-----------------
This post was edited on 4/18/09 at 2:04 am
Posted on 4/18/09 at 1:31 am to TexasSinger
"I am master of my domain"
Posted on 4/18/09 at 8:47 am to Napoleon
Dolores: "You don't know my name, do you?"
Jerry: "Yes I do."
Dolores: "What is it?"
Jerry: "It, uh, rhymes with a female body part."
Dolores: "What is it?"
Jerry: "Mulva..."
Jerry: "Yes I do."
Dolores: "What is it?"
Jerry: "It, uh, rhymes with a female body part."
Dolores: "What is it?"
Jerry: "Mulva..."
Posted on 4/18/09 at 9:43 am to Griffmanjoe
Ross- "We were on a break!"
Chandler - "Sometimes I like to hold things and pretend I'm a giant."
George - "You know about Shrinkage."
Jerry - "She had Man Hand's!"
Chandler - "Sometimes I like to hold things and pretend I'm a giant."
George - "You know about Shrinkage."
Jerry - "She had Man Hand's!"
Posted on 4/18/09 at 10:25 am to red4lsu
quote:
Rachel: We're soooooooo o-ver.
Ross: Ugh, Ughhh, FINE BY ME!
Ross: You don't have to worry about me being able to fall asleep.....I STILL HAVE YOUR LETTER!
Posted on 4/18/09 at 10:26 am to Volvagia
jerry- he's an importer
george- and an exporter.
jerry- he's an importer/exporter.
george- and an exporter.
jerry- he's an importer/exporter.
Posted on 4/18/09 at 2:20 pm to S
Shakey the Moil...give me the BABY. This is not a Burlesque show. This is a Bris...a sacred ceremony which celebrates the relationship between Moses and Abraham...or something like that.
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