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re: Grandmother into cardiac arrest. Job starts Monday. SO coming for interview tom.

Posted on 9/20/14 at 5:06 am to
Posted by VanCleef
Member since Aug 2014
704 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 5:06 am to
She has stage 4 cancer and no dnr? sorry to say, but she is going die soon.
Posted by VanCleef
Member since Aug 2014
704 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 5:09 am to
she is most likely in a coma.
Posted by wartiger2004
Proud LGB Supporter!
Member since Aug 2011
17815 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 6:56 am to
Prayers bud.
Posted by FT
REDACTED
Member since Oct 2003
26925 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 7:14 am to
I was extremely close to my grandmother and since I was really young when she got sick and died I kind of avoided visiting her since the hospital really freaked me out. Plus her medication and condition started causing dementia so the few times I did visit she didn't know who I was and one time starting screaming in what I can only describe as terror when I walked in the room. She thought I was an intruder. That basically killed any future visits since I never wanted that to happen again, to me and especially to her. I was wracked with guilt every day for not going. It still gets to me a little sometimes. Hell, this already hurts to type.

I did go when it was clear that she only had a few hours left. It was painful to be there and I felt tons of regret for not going more, but the ability to say goodbye to her face, even if she couldn't hear me, and apologize even though, in this life, she never knew that I'd done it, meant everything to me. I'll never regret going, and you won't either. Granted my reasons were different than yours, but if you can get there, get there.

One last point. If you do everything in your power to get there and can't make it in time, don't worry. One way or another, she'll know you tried. This is, in my opinion, as much about attempting the right thing as it is actually doing it.
Posted by UGATiger26
Jacksonville, FL
Member since Dec 2009
9044 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 7:15 am to
I would wait for your car and then drive back ASAP. Don't worry about your GF. She should be able to take care of herself. I would imagine you or her already had lodging arrangements for her interview.
Posted by CaptainJ47
Gonzales
Member since Nov 2007
7334 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 7:18 am to
Agree that this needs to be about you and your GF will be fine. Next, I am also sure your job will understand as well. If not, is it really the right place for you anyway.

I just lost my grandmother on 9/6. There were a few times I saw her when she was unresponsive. While it isn't the way you want to see her you have the opportunity to still talk/cry/laugh with her. It will help I promise.

Prayers man headed your way for sure!
Posted by baybeefeetz
Member since Sep 2009
31632 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 7:24 am to
Yeah, I made it home about a half hour before my grandmother died. I feel very fortunate about that. She was not conscious but i think it mattered to my whole family and did a lot of good for all.
Posted by drunkenpunkin
Louisiana
Member since Dec 2011
7659 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 7:32 am to
I'd talk with my employer about the situation ASAP. You will regret not going. Your employer obviously is invested in you, so it doesn't sound like the type of company that would rescind the offer because you have a family emergency. Your girlfriend will be okay and understand as well. The bottom line is all of those things will be waiting for you when you get back. Your grandmother may not, unfortunately.

My dad was on a vent for 4 days in May and they didn't think he would pull through. My brother and I flew up there thinking this was it, and the old man pulled through. Just saying there isn't no hope when someone is on a vent. Though obviously different circumstances. Prayers for you and your family.
Posted by Bestbank Tiger
Premium Member
Member since Jan 2005
70869 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 7:55 am to
quote:

If your grandmother is terminal, just has days to live, I'm sure that your job would hold your place fora few days or for a week.


If they aren't understanding in this situation, it's a company you want to avoid like the plague.
Posted by brgfather129
Los Angeles, CA
Member since Jul 2009
17096 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 8:20 am to
Fly home today, say goodbye to your grandmother. Fly back Sunday, start your job on Monday.
Posted by LSUTigersVCURams
Member since Jul 2014
21940 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 8:30 am to
good luck man. that's a terrible situation. but you'll get through it.
Posted by KG6
Member since Aug 2009
10920 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 8:30 am to
I clearly remember the last moments with both my grandparents that passed. My grandmother was exhausted on the ventilator, but still grabbed my hand when I walked in. My grandpa hadn't spoken to anyone in weeks (family was crazy and he was bitter after my grandma passed). He always liked our family and actually said a few words to us right when everyone else left. Got to hear him say goodbye. It's worth being there.
Posted by jennBN
Member since Jun 2010
3136 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 9:38 am to
This will sound cruel but I would not go back unless you know they are withdrawing support. She is sedated on either protocol or fentanyl/versed and will not know you are there. Your grandmother would not want to be the cause of you or your fiancé risking your jobs over her. Wait for more info and then make the decision.
Eta: should read propofol...auto correct.
This post was edited on 9/20/14 at 12:05 pm
Posted by hashtag
Comfy, AF
Member since Aug 2005
27465 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 10:37 am to
quote:

I'd talk with my employer about the situation ASAP
this. And if they weren't understanding, I'd wouldn't even show up on Monday.
Posted by The Mick
Member since Oct 2010
43067 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 10:45 am to
It's the end sorry to say. God Bless your grandmother and your family.
Posted by upgrayedd
Lifting at Tobin's house
Member since Mar 2013
134843 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 10:51 am to
What part of AZ are you in?
Posted by Jcorye1
Tom Brady = GoAT
Member since Dec 2007
71339 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 10:56 am to
Storage unit
Posted by Dorothy
Munchkinland
Member since Oct 2008
18153 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 11:29 am to
quote:

Fly home today, say goodbye to your grandmother. Fly back Sunday, start your job on Monday.



IMO, this may be the best option. If you delay starting and she dies in the next few weeks, you'll probably want to leave again with short notice for the funeral.
Posted by lsusteve1
Member since Dec 2004
41859 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 11:46 am to
Family comes before everything else
Posted by Seven Costanza
The Wild West
Member since Aug 2012
1981 posts
Posted on 9/20/14 at 11:50 am to
She passed. Coded again and couldn't recover this time. Thank you for all your stories and prayers. Unfortunately, I didn't make it in time. At least it won't be long until I see the rest of my family

I'm thankful for visiting with her the weekend before I moved.
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