My conversation with God after Biden was sworn in.

Langland: God, do not screw us on this! Why give us Trump at all if you're gonna just turn around four years later and give us a third Obama administration in the form a Christian hating, socialist loving, geriatric Biden administration?

God: Langland, stop acting like a spoiled brat! You can either have President Biden or you can have nothing at all!

Langland: I'll take nothing at all, please!

God:(sternly) Don't get smart with me, Langland!

Langland: (looks at God for a second) Oh, I've got a better idea! Why don't you go to Walmart and buy some condoms?! Because we should at least be safe if you're gonna frick America, God!

God: (sternly) Langland!

Langland: You might as well go buy some cigarettes too, because America likes to have a smoke after we get good and fricked! (tears forming) Do you wanna frick us, God?! Just say so! You wanna frick your sheep so bad?! Go on God! frick me! frick America!

God: Stop crying, Langland! You will get Joe Biden and like it!

Langland: I'm sorry, God. I took it too far.

God: If you're really sorry, then you'll understand why you are getting Biden and not Trump!!

Langland: Is it because you refuse to answer the prayers of millions of people all across the globe? I bet I'll win the Mega Millions Lottery before you answer a one of those fricking prayers!

God: I've had about enough of that kind of talk, mister!

Langland: (sniffles) Can you at least limit Biden/Harris to one term?

God: No!!

Langland: Well then could you take us to Sonic and get some dinner? Cause America likes to be wined and dined after we've been frickED!



Hat tip to Eric Cartman for improving my original idea.