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re: How do you help an alcoholic friend
Posted on 4/26/14 at 12:42 pm to damnedoldtigah
Posted on 4/26/14 at 12:42 pm to damnedoldtigah
The relapse rate is high and very few addicts/alcoholics stay sober (percentage wise) to the total number there are on Earth. I've seen that with my own eyes.
It's important to note though, not because 12 step programs don't work. It's because those people don't work the programs. Or they flat out never make it to admitting they are alcoholic or addict.
That's why I never take my sobriety for granted. Or the miracles that have happened along the way.
It's important to note though, not because 12 step programs don't work. It's because those people don't work the programs. Or they flat out never make it to admitting they are alcoholic or addict.
That's why I never take my sobriety for granted. Or the miracles that have happened along the way.
1
Posted on 4/26/14 at 12:45 pm to oldcharlie8
quote:
well shite....I do this just about every day. no one considers me to be an alcoholic because I guess i'm good at "handling" my liquor.
Do you have to drink or do you want to drink? What would happen to you if you didn't drink?
I normally have a drink or two a night, usually when I'm grading papers or writing lesson plans.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 12:47 pm to pooponsaban
Polar pop be strong you don't need to drink I will drink enough for the both of us
Posted on 4/26/14 at 1:20 pm to CuseTiger
You can't
Posted on 4/26/14 at 1:27 pm to RealityTiger
quote:
It's important to note though, not because 12 step programs don't work. It's because those people don't work the programs.
I love this. Addiction is a disease and 12 step-programs are the treatment. But if the treatment doesn't work, it's the client that's at fault, never the treatment.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:04 pm to LucasP
Huh?
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:13 pm to pooponsaban
Don't even bother with him. He's got it all figured out.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:44 pm to LucasP
quote:
. But if the treatment doesn't work, it's the client that's at fault, never the treatment.
if you are sick and go to the doctor,, the doctor gives you medicine to take.
but you dont take the medicine prescribed and stay sick- who's at fault? the doctor? oh I know, its the medicines fault.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 2:54 pm to ole man
I'm a recovered alcoholic, but I was not interested in the 13th step, so I left that cult behind.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 3:01 pm to LucasP
No, it's the 13th step that turned me away. Whether I'm an a-hole or not is probably not up for debate.
Don't be dense about this topic, though. Know this sub topic or walk away from the conversation.
Screwing vulnerable and helpless addicts who are looking for a way to save their lives is AA sport. AA is the JoePa of addiction recovery.
Don't be dense about this topic, though. Know this sub topic or walk away from the conversation.
Screwing vulnerable and helpless addicts who are looking for a way to save their lives is AA sport. AA is the JoePa of addiction recovery.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 3:06 pm to SaintCajun
quote:
Do you have to drink or do you want to drink?
want to. I actually work 21 days on and 21 days off. on the "on" days, I can't have alcohol at all. on the "off" days, I usually drink every day. most of the time, it's about a pint of whiskey in the evenings. however, on the weekends, it's a fifth.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 3:25 pm to ksayetiger
quote:
but you dont take the medicine prescribed and stay sick- who's at fault?
Lots of people "take the medicine" and still don't get better. In fact many get worse. But then instead of reevaluating the approach, the response is "you didn't really want to quit", "you weren't ready yet". Pretty convenient.
If someone goes to meetings and follows the steps but it doesn't help, do you really think 90 meetings in 90 days is the right next move? Maybe try a different approach, why not just say "This method isn't for you, try something else" instead of "You're not being honest and you just need more meetings and prayer."
Posted on 4/26/14 at 3:37 pm to LucasP
Sorry that came across a bit preachy and heavy-handed, this is a thread looking for advice to help a friend with a problem. My two cents would be to steer clear of the twelve-steps, but if it works for him then great. If it doesn't then he shouldn't beat himself up about it.
I'll leave this here other options
I'll leave this here other options
Posted on 4/26/14 at 4:02 pm to LucasP
When I got to treatmen in 84 i didn't think I was a drunk or addict, I thought I needed a shrink,
I learned quick that I was both lol,
Staying sober, meetings listening to others and talking with others cured to insanity
AA and the 12 steps worked for me, and many many others.
To those posting here that do drink, if at any time drinking has caused a problem in your life or still does, no matter how small or large it may be You have a drinkin problem.
If one person says your draggin a tail behind you that's one thing, but if 3or 4 say the same thing , you better turn around and take a look at things
Some don't have the capacity of self honesty I've seen these friend die because of it . I help anyone that wants to quit. I'm brutally honest when it comes to that I don't sugar coat anything
I learned quick that I was both lol,
Staying sober, meetings listening to others and talking with others cured to insanity
AA and the 12 steps worked for me, and many many others.
To those posting here that do drink, if at any time drinking has caused a problem in your life or still does, no matter how small or large it may be You have a drinkin problem.
If one person says your draggin a tail behind you that's one thing, but if 3or 4 say the same thing , you better turn around and take a look at things
Some don't have the capacity of self honesty I've seen these friend die because of it . I help anyone that wants to quit. I'm brutally honest when it comes to that I don't sugar coat anything
Posted on 4/26/14 at 4:31 pm to LucasP
quote:
Lots of people "take the medicine" and still don't get better.
bullshite.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 4:38 pm to LucasP
quote:
This method isn't for you, try something else" instead of "You're not being honest and you just need more meetings and prayer."
12 step literature clearly states that its not the solution for every alcoholic/addict and people should not hesitate to try all available options until something works.
That said, 12 step programs better the lives of millions of people every year so don't be a dick.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 4:43 pm to wasteland
quote:
most of the time, it's about a pint of whiskey in the evenings. however, on the weekends, it's a fifth.
These are the same.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 4:50 pm to zacata88
quote:
These are the same.
Hmmmmm you sure about that?
Posted on 4/26/14 at 4:56 pm to ole man
quote:
To those posting here that do drink, if at any time drinking has caused a problem in your life or still does, no matter how small or large it may be You have a drinkin problem.
Negative. The size of the problem matters.
Posted on 4/26/14 at 4:57 pm to wasteland
quote:
That said, 12 step programs better the lives of millions of people every year so don't be a dick.
Not trying to be a dick, and good on those twelve steppers who remember that portion of the literature, I've read a good portion of the big book and other options besides AA get very little mention other than their shortcomings.
I'm just trying to give the OP a word of caution if his friend does go this route, it can often be counter productive and his friend shouldn't get discouraged and think he can't do sobriety because he can't do AA.
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