re: Do you give your life the credit it deserves?

I'm not sure. On the surface, I'd say no. I try to be as thankful as I possibly can for what I have, but it's not always easy. It's not that I'm comparing my have-nots to what other people do possess, more so I long for something on which I can't articulate.

I'd say more often than not I do the inverse. I look at what I have and take stock and I'm grateful. I have a roof, I have my health, I have food in the fridge, I have what I believe to be an ability to look at situations objectively and take a (IMO) reasonable position. But still, some days I'm longing for more.

I'm somewhat nihilistic, which can be both a blessing and a curse. I know what I value; my wife, my dog, spending time with my family, learning new things. I don't want for fancy cars, vacations, or even a lot of money. I feel like in that regard, my views on life and consciousness as a whole are actually really healthy. My dream life is to be in a quiet setting, the people I love with their health, just spending time with one another and enjoying each other's company.

And where my perspective can be a bit of a burden is even when I get those things, even for just a day or two, and I am truly happy in that moment, there is always a sinking feeling of "I'm going to lose this, we are all going to perish, and none of this will matter in a relative blink of an eye."