re: I don't know what to do. I just want to end it

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I've been looking for a project car. I love mechanic work and I need something to occupy my free time and use up disposable income on something productive.

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This is a great idea. As others have said, maybe visit a counselor a few times. You sound like you have a pretty solid head on your shoulders. The self-education that a counselor could give you access to could be a game changer man. You don’t know what you don’t know. Trust me.

As for all the good girls being taken. Keep busy with cleaning up the side gig, your new hobby and reconnecting with friends in a new way and in a few years you’ll be picking up the divorced ones that are even better than before.