re: My fiancee cheated on me.

You will never get a good enough explanation, because there isn't one. People do shitty things and always justify it as okay, at least while they're doing it. That's how they're able to do it, regardless of who they frick over. You hit the nail on the head. It's pure selfishness. Even telling you (assuming she's now trying to reconcile) is selfish. Telling you does absolutely nothing but relieve her own conscience, and frick you up immensely.

That's part of the reason you still love her, because you haven't been in on it. You've been living in one reality while she lives in another. Now you're living in her reality and trying to get your bearings. Again, it's selfish. You could still be in your reality none the wiser. She could be in hers, dealing with her presumed guilt and remorse on her own. You love her still because this is all so new to you. It's not like you can automatically turn off the love switch. But, you can turn on the frick you switch with rapidity if you choose to.

Bottom line is, it's not fair. You didn't and don't deserve it. Some people can get over it. Some people can't. Nobody else can make that decision for you.

1) Why did she tell you? Is it over with him and she's remorseful, or is she leaving you for him?

2) How long was it going on?

3) Do you want to work it out?

4) How old is the kid?

5) Don't do anything stupid in retaliation