quote:
My advice, work on the things you know you could have done differently in your first go around so if the opportunity ever presents itself again you won't make the same mistakes twice.

The caveat is that you also need to know that some things are beyond your realm of control. Usually, divorces are the result of whatever BOTH parties have done to the other. No one is completely faultless. Also, if the other party is not interested in making the relationship work, there's not a damned thing you can do about it.

Many things can make a divorce happen. The marital relationship is almost like a third entity that two individuals have created and committed to. It's bigger than either. Sometimes outside pressures are too much for the marriage to survive. Sometimes, the spouses have grown too far apart to make things work. Sometimes one or both realize that they simply made a mistake marrying the other. I could go on, but it would be a long list. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the first 20 of our 27 years. The defendant wanted something else in life. I had to maintain my career as I was responsible for two children, who I loved and continue to love dearly, along with a spouse who would not hold up her end of the finances, nor take care of the house or kids. She decided she wanted a different life. When all was said and done, there was some shite in her upbringing that simply was not resolved. As much as I tried, I couldn't put my finger on the specific problem. It actually took a former in-law to point it out. Even if I had known earlier, I am not sure there was a lot I could have done. She was resistant to the idea of counseling.

After she left, the kids and I regrouped and tried to move on. We did (I had to finish raising them on my own), but not without considerable emotional damage.

For those who are happily married, you have my admiration.