re: Building a house - looking for some advice

Agree with prev poster...are we really talking about custom here, or is this limited-choice, pre-sold spec? I did the first, my sister went with the second. For her, time was of the essence and she was in a rural area with few builders. I would not have been happy with the limited choices and was underwhelmed by the quality of her subs.

I prob paid $50/sq ft more than she did, but it was worth it to me (and it didn't price the house out of the neighborhood). I was on site every day and had the opportunity to review/critique everything as it happened. No surprises lurking, and my GC was happy to have me so involved. (Not every GC welcomes this.)

What do you know about construction? If nothing, then you need some assistance in picking out plans. Certain architectural styles and features will dramatically inflate costs. I actually picked out & spec'd down to the doorknobs on three different plans before I managed to find one that met my budget.

Back to your question about price: true custom contractors will give you an incredibly detailed, itemized breakdown of all phases of the construction. You'll have allowances for cabinets, flooring, fixtures, etc. If your builder is competent, your allowances will cover the materials you identify in the beginning...you'll know whether your budget includes $2.50/sq ft flooring or $8/sq ft flooring, so you can plan/pick out accordingly. The budget should include a contingency amount for unforseseen issues and clearly state the builder's fee.

Again, if you're not getting this level of detail, go find another contractor. Or accept that you are not getting true custom construction and can't specify exactly how you want things done.