re: T/F: Feminists are, by and large, joyless and bitter and...

Yep. The movement was a clear struggle for equal rights and opportunity. It was based in humanism. There was a democratic ideal to it. It aimed for a cultural shift to the basic idea you suggested: women and men are equal and can do the same things within reason. And despite your misgivings about conservative Republitards* they largely share this same ideal. Second wave feminism has pretty much succeeded.

Since then, it has completely gone off the rails. From at least the 90s onward it is not longer based in any humanistic and democratic ideals. It is based in sociological and anthropological theory. It doesn't aim to change the law, it aims to only shift the culture, man's historical role as dominant. There's no clear way to go about this of course and no clear law to change without trampling on people's rights. And it all varies from feminist to feminist because at the end of the day it's just philosophy. It's just a lot of what I call "sociological bitching."

*ETA: I meant to reply to Tigah