re: How difficult are babies really

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It's not hard.

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I would be careful not to throw around this phrase. Perhaps for you and your spouse, it wasn't.

People process things differently than others. Some individuals find it quite difficult to acclimate to changes in environment. No one can deny that being catapulted into a world of utter sleep deprivation coupled with adjusting to a newborn's existence isn't hard.

This also can be expounded with, you never know what your newborn can and will bring to the table. They can be the easiest baby, hardly fussy, sleeps a good 3-4 hours within the first month of life,eats well, etc., overall a pretty easy newborn; However, you could have one with feeding issues, latching issues, mother's milk drying up for a myriad of reasons and having to find which formula suits their sensitive digestive microbiome. The list goes on and on.

Bottom line though, you adjust, you power through, and it will pass.

As they develop from newborn, to infant, to toddler, to "big-kid", it gets easier in some ways, yet harder in others.

You'll do fine.