Her name was Becky. I had Tinder for a while but never really got into it until one night when I was bored. This girl was from one town over, maybe 6 or 7 miles away. The town she lived in was the same town that my aunt lives. I say she is my aunt but actually she is the ex wife of my Uncle Steve. They were married my whole life until just a few years ago so I still call her my aunt though technically she isn't. She got to keep the house in the divorce, though and they have a bad arse tire swing. My (ex) aunt lived in the same town as Becky, like I said. Becky said she was really into doing stuff with glue guns. I thought that was weird for a girl her age but with that Pinterest thing you never know what the chicks are going to be into these days. Scrapbooking is kind of like that. My mom got super into scrapbooking at one time and got bored with it not too long after spending a shite ton of money on scrap booking supplies. They make all sorts of stuff for scrapbooking. Kinda nuts. My mom went through a similar thing with ceramics when I was in grade school. Anyway, Becky was into glue gunning and her picture looked kinda hot. She kinda looked like a young Candice Bergman. I know that sounds weird but I remember Murphy Brown and I think she was in that and kinda hot. We need more shows like Murphy Brown. So anyway, Becky bored me at first. She was going on and on about a new watch she had gotten. Wouldn't shut up about it. I don't get watches. I don't wear one anymore and I feel like the only people that do are dudes that want to show off their money. I'm not into that kind of attitude. I've got a buddy that I went to high school with and he went on to make a lot of money and he is like that. When he comes home to see his family he's always talking about wha he's bought and what he's been doing that is cool. Becky wasn't carrying on about her watch like it was expensive or anything, nothing like that. I think she just really liked it. She said she bought it with some money she got as part of her family getting some timber cut on some land that her grandad owned before he died. I don't have any idea how much money you get doing that. I guess it depends on how many acres or hectars you get cut. Size does matter in some things! So she talks forever about the watch and later we talk about some other things and she seemed very cool. She had a dog and that was cool because I like dogs. She had a little shite zoo but I'm more into bigger dogs. Right now I have a Dalmation and he can be a real a-hole sometimes! I'll take the slipper to his arse from time to time, I tell you. Discipline is important. When I have kids I hope I hit that right balance where I am tough but fair. But back to Becky, long story short I killed her and pooped on the bridge of her nose as her eyes went dark.