re: how to set up a home office network/server/whatever

Try the thunderbird mail client for the PC. You can use the gmail account in an outlook like thick client. Also - don't use the gmail app on the phone, set it as a regular mail account using the pre-loaded iPhone mail client. On the calendar on the phone, remove all of the calendars that come pre loaded and only allow it to show the gmail calendar. This will get everything in sync , and the only learning curve is on the thunderbird mail client - which is a lot like outlook.