re: Why do Soccer Haters Hate Soccer so much?

To be fair, there were plenty of people who fit this

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They never even tried any other sport.

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and this

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potheads

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As far as

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good enough to play football or baseball

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If you were dealing with any reasonable level of youth soccer, there were very few players who would be described as the quintessential American athlete, but there were also very few members of the uncoordinated, unwashed masses.