re: First time tailgater

Whatever you do, don't set up near my tailgate spot. It's my land, I paid for it (with my taxes, of course), and I have been tailgating there for ten years. Poach my land, and there will be bloodshed. You will be drawn, quartered, and hung on a pike at the four corners of my tailgate for all to see.

Then, I will offer you a beer, an armadillo egg, and some tasty alligator sauce picquante or jambalaya.