re: How much to put down on a home? (more than 20%?)

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Does it make more sense to put more of our savings in to a down payment?

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Yes.

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Say 40% down which would lower the payment to around $2,000/month and therefor give us more breathing room once my wife stops working?

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But not to do this - I would pay more to shorten the term, like to 15 years and pay biweekly (if you're paid that way) or an extra P&I every year to retire it in 12.

30-year mortgages, even at ridiculously low interest rates are a form of slavery, IMHO - 15 years is a compromise I can live with.