Leonard-Dogs Losers - 10-22

Installment 2, if anyone cares....

‘Bama v. UT

After the Alabama mastodon brutally tusked the hapless bre’r bears of Oxford, the rebel bears looked more like Care Bear Kabobs. Now the pachyderms head home to host a beat up ol’ hound dog from Knoxville who’s had an empty food bowl of late. Smokey is still lookin’ for a dinner plate with some meat scraps, and sees one in the comfort of some soothing shade….except that shade is an enormous elephant eclipsing the sun. Elephant arse squashes poor pooch like a sumo wrestler flattens a midgets when he trips forward….

LeonardDogs Loser: UT by 24


LSU v. Auburn

The Auburn Tigers feasted well on some unlucky swamp lizards who staggered into the Plains too far away from their home mud pit. The Tigers from the flats begin to think there might be more sport in the bayou, and travel to Baton Rouge. But the resident felines of the Cajun marsh don’t take too kindly to their brethren from the North. They’re returning from Knoxville where they had some Volunteer tiger trainers….who Volunteered to be cat food. These two carnivore’s will tangle hard, but the Purple and Gold cat will channel its inner ‘Charlie Sheen’ and shows it has tiger blood, while the Blue and Orange tabbies channel their inner ‘Garfield’.

LeonardDogs Loser: Auburn by 17


UK v. Jacksonville State.

After a tough Bye week tangling with NOBODY, and barely breaking even, the mountain Wildcats of Kentucky face another tough opponent when the Jacksonville State Gamecocks come to the kittie-cat milk bowl. The broken-spirited bobcats already have nightmares from the last time they tangled with some roosters, though this variety ain’t got the same size of spurs. This brand of fowl has done well in the FCS hen house, and believe they can peck these pathetic pussies into hiding, but regardless of how timid this domesticated lynx acts, they still have nails in their paw. Look for the southern pullets to peck at the cats mercilessly early, until the felines fatale are in such a hissy fit as to actually land a crushing claw late, accidentally out of flailing. The hopeful, confident chicken’s last agonizing recollection will be being gummed to death by these toothless Cats.

LeonardDogs Loser: Jacksonville State by 7