re: How many good, old-fashioned fist-fights have you been in?

You said "good old fashioned fist fights" so I'm assuming you don't mean middle school dust-ups on the PE field. So...

Three. Sort of. The first was less of a fight and more of me just getting the shite beat out of me by a group of guys when I was 16. I won't go into detail on that one because I was a frickup back then and the story doesn't cast me in any better light than them.

The second was me and two army buddies vs three other army guys, who dared to call us newbs, because their cycle was a couple weeks ahead of ours, after we ran across them drinking beer in the woods behind the Class Six (military liquor store), while we were also drinking beer in the woods behind the Class Six, while on pass from basic training. Someone threw a punch (it was me ). We won this fight handily although one of their guys was hospitalized and ultimately discharged due to his injuries. I regret this fight more than any other, although no one did anything particularly malicious or intended to cause lasting harm. Fights rapidly become more dangerous and damaging than you intend as you grow into adulthood.

The third and final time was a bar fight when I was 23. My friend and I sat down at a table with some girls in the patio area and were talking to them when three guys came over and told us that we were in their seats as they had only left to get drinks from the bar. This naturally led to words being exchanged and someone threw a punch(it was me ). I was actually getting my arse beat pretty good by one of the dudes but the ace up my sleeve was my friend, my LT, a former enlisted Ranger and Special Forces guy who went to OCS, and is one of the most insane guys I've ever known (he once received an article 15 for shoving a guys head into the ball return at the on-post bowling alley). One of those tall lanky country boys that's way stronger, smarter, and meaner than he looks.

He apparently handled all three of them, one of whom, he threw over the six foot wall surrounding the patio, onto the bed of cactuses (cacti?) on the other side. But I don't remember because I was busy laying around and bleeding from several parts of my face. In fact,I don't remember much after the first few seconds, which is good because I'm pretty sure I put on an embarrassing performance. Still counting it as a win though. Thanks LT Tucker.

eta- and just remembered we left with those girls. It turns out they were nurses or army medics or something and my memory doesn't return until I come to on an apartment balcony with my head in a girls lap while she's cleaning my face and dressing my cuts. And then Tucker said something a little too loudly and one of the other girls told him to quiet down before we wake up her husband. So we booked it. All for naught in the end.



Nothing since then, 21 years now.