re: What do you do when grounding doesn't work?

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He generally rolls over when he gets punished, but then he fricking does it again.

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Focus on this. What you are currently doing is not working. He is not getting the message. The "punishment" is not having any effect. You cannot keep doing the same thing and expecting different results

You have to get on the same page with his father. The fact that the father seems to think its no big deal may be part of why the kid keeps doing it.

This could be about attention. I had a friend go through a similar situation, and he started taking his son on semi-annual trips, just the two of them, for a week at a time. They'd go out in the woods, hike and camp, with no cell phones or electronics. It really helped him reconnect with his son, and helped the son reconnect with him.

There are lots of good suggestions in this thread about making him get more involved with the family, too.