re: Pondering Life With My Situation

quote:

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I definitely didn't win the genetic lottery when I was born and I just hate feeling like I'm some defective toy.

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You need to stop telling yourself this. You are not defective. The world is a cruel place as it is. You need to stop being cruel to yourself with your words and thoughts. Your life will become a never ending downward cycle of depression.

Stop cursing yourself. Words have power.

I was going through college, depressed and lifeless. I wanted to be stoned whenever I was awake, because that was the only thing that made me feel better. I hated God. I dreaded waking up in the mornings. I put on a front when I was with my friends, but inside I felt like nobody would love me, if they knew who I really was.

One night, I found Jesus, and I realized that he is real, and that he had always known me personally, and he loved me, and wanted to help me live life to the full (John 10:10). I felt love and freedom, and I was never the same.

Am I perfect? Absolutely not. But I have a relationship with the Father, and he helps me in all aspects of life.

I’ll be honest. I’m currently going through a hard time, but I know that I’m going to get through it, because God has only been good to me.