re: Smallish caliber pistol

I am a firearms instructor and teach a lot of ladies. I bring out several pistols for them to try out and invaribly the most popular is the S&W Shield EZ 380. Easy to load the mag, easy to rack the slide, easy to work the controls, very ergonomic, relatively light, mid sized, low recoil in an effective caliber. Another similar pistol is the Walther CCP M2 in 380.

I heartily second the suggestion to have her try several before you buy. I also agree to stay away from revolvers. Beside the recoil, the big issue most miss is heavy trigger pull in double action mode, which is how they were designed to be used in a defensive mode. More than half of the ladies I have trained cannot pull the trigger at all in DA mode and the other half could not come close to hitting the target while pulling the DA trigger. Some would say "well just cock the hammer". While that does work, it makes the trigger a very light almost hair trigger where under stress someone could shoot someone that is backing off and does not "need" to be shot.

Last suggestion is get her some good training. And remember that a man should never try to train his wife with a firearm. It will turn out much better if someone else does.