Paige Spiranac Got Engaged Over The Weekend & NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

This is hard for me to even type...I need a second...

Woof. Ok. So...I'm gonna take a minute to say that there is not a dust pan big enough in the universe that could shovel up the millions of pieces my little hairy little heart has shattered into. I mean, not only is she my first Larry Leo love, but she was also my first cutie I truly started creeping on as a cutie creeper here at Sports Lite. I stood by her (via my computer) the other day as she shed tears over being bullied. I've been there for the trick shots...never saw one because I couldn't take my eyes of her, but still. This is just a terrible way to start a week. Paige Spiranac got engaged over the weekend to this chump. If you need me I'll be chugging bottles of Rolling Rock in a bathtub of my own tears and Little Caesars Stuff Crust Pizza until 2017...