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Have you ever had an intervention with a friend if you didn't like their SO?

Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:16 pm
Posted by foreverLSU
Member since Mar 2006
17060 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:16 pm
If your friend is dating someone then intend on marrying, do you (A) tell them their SO sucks, citing multiple examples to back up your point or (B) let them go about dating a bum because it's their life and not yours?

Does being a good friend mean helping them see the light or letting them make their own mistakes?



ETA: I was just throwing the hypothetical out there. I have a friend dating a guy for years and I feel like when she talks about him she's reading excerpts from that book "He's Just Not That Into You" and she doesn't realize it. I am not the kind to intervene in these situations unless, God forbid, it was an abusive situation. We're all adults now who are in full control of the lives we lead, it's not my business to say what's best for you. I was just throwing out the hypothetical for the OT.
This post was edited on 1/31/14 at 1:09 pm
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
32702 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:17 pm to
quote:

let them go about dating a bum because it's their life and not yours


it sucks, but gotta let them be "happy"
Posted by BayouBandit24
Member since Aug 2010
16549 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:17 pm to
at minimum drop some subtle comments

Posted by SabiDojo
Open to any suggestions.
Member since Nov 2010
83927 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:17 pm to
If you intervene and he ends up marrying her, then chances are your friendship is over.
Posted by Wtodd
Tampa, FL
Member since Oct 2013
67482 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:18 pm to
Just ask your friend this question and it should be clear to him that his SO is nuts: "you DO know why I wouldn't EVER date your SO don't you??"
Posted by Greengirl
Member since Dec 2011
5856 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:19 pm to
What kind of "sucks"? If the person is abusive and you are a close friend, I think you need to say something. If you just don't like the person, I think you need to accept that you and your friend are just looking for different things in an SO.
Posted by Ed Osteen
Member since Oct 2007
57448 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:19 pm to
Frame them for murder
Posted by CajunAlum Tiger Fan
The Great State of Louisiana
Member since Jan 2008
7871 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:20 pm to
Are you trying to get in her pants?
Posted by SG_Geaux
Beautiful St George
Member since Aug 2004
77934 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:20 pm to
Stay the frick out of it.
Posted by xXLSUXx
New Orleans, LA
Member since Oct 2010
10305 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:21 pm to
Depends on these examples you would cite.


Unless it's something major like "Your SO murders people on the side." then you may just have to leave it alone.
Posted by lsu480
Downtown Scottsdale
Member since Oct 2007
92876 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:22 pm to
Ive never had an intervention but I have told them what I thought. If they stay with the person I will support them but I always end up being right.
Posted by SaintCajun
Pacific Northwest
Member since Apr 2012
4294 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:23 pm to
Tried telling my old roommate that his girlfriend was a whore and he never believed me. Later he found out she fricked another guy, they broke up and I told him I told you so. That was the extent of my intervention
Posted by skygod123
NOLA
Member since Nov 2007
27882 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:23 pm to
once. ive never had an intervention with a friend, but if they have asked my opinion i have addressed major issues in the dynamics of their relationships. it was not an easy conversation to have. they got married anyway.

they are divorced now.
Posted by Murray
Member since Aug 2008
14414 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:24 pm to
It's none of your business. Get over yourself.
Posted by tiger91
In my own little world
Member since Nov 2005
36703 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:25 pm to
Me no ... my mother in law tried when it was her daughter marrying someone that she didn't like. In fairness, none of us like him and he comes across as an arse. It only caused tension and issues ...

I see nothing wrong with perhaps just pointing things out if possible in a non-accusatory way but ultimately it's their decision and if they are happy with the situation so be it.

(in fairness my mother in law had valid concerns about his alcohol consumption in WAY excess ... )
This post was edited on 1/31/14 at 12:26 pm
Posted by RogerTheShrubber
Juneau, AK
Member since Jan 2009
259940 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:26 pm to
My best friend from HS married someone I thought was a horrible fit. Just the opposite of him in almost every way. I kept my mouth shut and they were married for 16 years, most of them quite happily.

Posted by foreverLSU
Member since Mar 2006
17060 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:26 pm to
quote:

Are you trying to get in her pants?


I'm a female and I'm married, so negatory.
This post was edited on 1/31/14 at 1:09 pm
Posted by Hugo Stiglitz
Member since Oct 2010
72937 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:27 pm to
Don't be that guy.

ETA: gal
This post was edited on 1/31/14 at 12:28 pm
Posted by Lester Earl
Member since Nov 2003
278185 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:28 pm to
We just did with one of our friends. He had realized she was crazy tho. He just got her pregnant a few weeks ago though. He moved out last week but last I heard was going back, so who knows
Posted by SaintCajun
Pacific Northwest
Member since Apr 2012
4294 posts
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:28 pm to
Just ask her if she is truly happy with the guy.
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