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Have you ever had an intervention with a friend if you didn't like their SO?
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:16 pm
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:16 pm
If your friend is dating someone then intend on marrying, do you (A) tell them their SO sucks, citing multiple examples to back up your point or (B) let them go about dating a bum because it's their life and not yours?
Does being a good friend mean helping them see the light or letting them make their own mistakes?
ETA: I was just throwing the hypothetical out there. I have a friend dating a guy for years and I feel like when she talks about him she's reading excerpts from that book "He's Just Not That Into You" and she doesn't realize it. I am not the kind to intervene in these situations unless, God forbid, it was an abusive situation. We're all adults now who are in full control of the lives we lead, it's not my business to say what's best for you. I was just throwing out the hypothetical for the OT.
Does being a good friend mean helping them see the light or letting them make their own mistakes?
ETA: I was just throwing the hypothetical out there. I have a friend dating a guy for years and I feel like when she talks about him she's reading excerpts from that book "He's Just Not That Into You" and she doesn't realize it. I am not the kind to intervene in these situations unless, God forbid, it was an abusive situation. We're all adults now who are in full control of the lives we lead, it's not my business to say what's best for you. I was just throwing out the hypothetical for the OT.
This post was edited on 1/31/14 at 1:09 pm
31
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:17 pm to foreverLSU
quote:
let them go about dating a bum because it's their life and not yours
it sucks, but gotta let them be "happy"
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:17 pm to foreverLSU
at minimum drop some subtle comments
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:17 pm to foreverLSU
If you intervene and he ends up marrying her, then chances are your friendship is over.
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:18 pm to foreverLSU
Just ask your friend this question and it should be clear to him that his SO is nuts: "you DO know why I wouldn't EVER date your SO don't you??" 
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:19 pm to foreverLSU
What kind of "sucks"? If the person is abusive and you are a close friend, I think you need to say something. If you just don't like the person, I think you need to accept that you and your friend are just looking for different things in an SO.
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:19 pm to foreverLSU
Frame them for murder
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:20 pm to foreverLSU
Are you trying to get in her pants?
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:20 pm to foreverLSU
Stay the frick out of it.
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:21 pm to foreverLSU
Depends on these examples you would cite.
Unless it's something major like "Your SO murders people on the side." then you may just have to leave it alone.
Unless it's something major like "Your SO murders people on the side." then you may just have to leave it alone.
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:22 pm to foreverLSU
Ive never had an intervention but I have told them what I thought. If they stay with the person I will support them but I always end up being right.
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:23 pm to foreverLSU
Tried telling my old roommate that his girlfriend was a whore and he never believed me. Later he found out she fricked another guy, they broke up and I told him I told you so. That was the extent of my intervention
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:23 pm to foreverLSU
once. ive never had an intervention with a friend, but if they have asked my opinion i have addressed major issues in the dynamics of their relationships. it was not an easy conversation to have. they got married anyway.
they are divorced now.
they are divorced now.
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:24 pm to foreverLSU
It's none of your business. Get over yourself.
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:25 pm to foreverLSU
Me no ... my mother in law tried when it was her daughter marrying someone that she didn't like. In fairness, none of us like him and he comes across as an arse. It only caused tension and issues ...
I see nothing wrong with perhaps just pointing things out if possible in a non-accusatory way but ultimately it's their decision and if they are happy with the situation so be it.
(in fairness my mother in law had valid concerns about his alcohol consumption in WAY excess ... )
I see nothing wrong with perhaps just pointing things out if possible in a non-accusatory way but ultimately it's their decision and if they are happy with the situation so be it.
(in fairness my mother in law had valid concerns about his alcohol consumption in WAY excess ... )
This post was edited on 1/31/14 at 12:26 pm
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:26 pm to foreverLSU
My best friend from HS married someone I thought was a horrible fit. Just the opposite of him in almost every way. I kept my mouth shut and they were married for 16 years, most of them quite happily.
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:26 pm to CajunAlum Tiger Fan
quote:
Are you trying to get in her pants?
I'm a female and I'm married, so negatory.
This post was edited on 1/31/14 at 1:09 pm
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:27 pm to foreverLSU
Don't be that guy.
ETA: gal
ETA: gal
This post was edited on 1/31/14 at 12:28 pm
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:28 pm to foreverLSU
We just did with one of our friends. He had realized she was crazy tho. He just got her pregnant a few weeks ago though. He moved out last week but last I heard was going back, so who knows
Posted on 1/31/14 at 12:28 pm to foreverLSU
Just ask her if she is truly happy with the guy.
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