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Message
Posted on 12/16/14 at 9:12 am to DollaChoppa
That they had come out with a new car that ran on water.
Posted on 12/16/14 at 9:15 am to offshoretrash
quote:
I recently went on a hunting trip to Alberta, Canada that I had planned for almost a year. My wife tells her dad I was going to Colorado and my 17yo daughter says no, he's going to Kansas
Glad to see the apple didn't fall far from the tree
Posted on 12/16/14 at 9:16 am to DollaChoppa
On a trip to Houston, my wife's best friend saw a sign at a convenience store next to the Interstate that read, "No Semis" and complained that she hated that all the signs in Texas were in Spanish.
Posted on 12/16/14 at 9:18 am to DollaChoppa
"I don't even know people that read books"
Posted on 12/16/14 at 9:21 am to PrideofTheSEC
quote:
That the civil war was in the 1900's can't remember exactly the date she said though but obviously she's not even in the right century
are you sure that she didn't say 19th century and you are the stupid one?
Posted on 12/16/14 at 9:21 am to DollaChoppa
Asked me to pick up amroire for her. I was by myself and it weighed over 400lbs.
She says "it looked light in the picture"
She says "it looked light in the picture"
Posted on 12/16/14 at 9:27 am to DollaChoppa
During dental school I was with a girl for 2.5 years, and it took her 7 years to make it out of Southeastern - and was one letter grade in one class away from not meeting the minimum gpa to graduate. Not the brightest woman I've been with. She was a MAJOR prude and didn't know a thing about sex. After months and months (yeah, I was that desperate), eventually I got a little finger action and was flicking her bean when she suddenly stopped me and kind of freaked out. After drawing out an explanation, she apparently was starting to have an orgasm, didn't know what it was, and thought she was getting pregnant or something. On another occasion, she was late for her period and I had to take her for a pregnancy test. We had never had sex. And trust me when I say she wasn't with anyone else. Now, she was at Southeastern while I was living in da Parish and going to dental school, so a few times a week I drove all the way to Hammond to see her (did I mention I was that desperate?). I had a text book at home from a sex ed class I had taken at UNO a few years earlier, and eventually I had to bring the sex ed book, pick her up and go park at the drive-in, and spend an hour teaching her the basics - the BASICS - of human sexuality. She was around 26 at this time. No lie.
This post was edited on 12/16/14 at 9:29 am
Posted on 12/16/14 at 9:27 am to DollaChoppa
I went on a couple dates with a girl, and she told me that "her cat thinks that he is a real person." That was the last date we went on.
Posted on 12/16/14 at 9:28 am to DollaChoppa
I asked Jones if blimps were tied to the ground or a building with rope
Posted on 12/16/14 at 9:40 am to DollaChoppa
(no message)
This post was edited on 1/10/21 at 8:42 am
Posted on 12/16/14 at 9:42 am to Kraut Dawg
A girl I dated tried to tell me that Alaska was an island. This was post college. She went to Auburn. Lulz.
Posted on 12/16/14 at 9:44 am to miamitiger
quote:
Asked me to pick up amroire for her. I was by myself and it weighed over 400lbs.
She says "it looked light in the picture"
Reminds me... my wife bought an armoire that was CLEARLY too big to go into the room she bought it for. In fact, it was clearly too big to go through any door inside the house. Her idea? Have somebody take a window out... and all the brick around it and enlarge the hole, move the armoire into where she wanted and then fix it back. Uhh.... honey... sorry... choose a new armoire.
Posted on 12/16/14 at 9:54 am to SSpaniel
My house is built on a concrete foundation. Former SO didn't like the master bath layout. She began formulating plans to relocate the tub, toilet, etc.
Posted on 12/16/14 at 10:00 am to DollaChoppa
Girl I dated my Sr. year of HS. She was smart as hell from a intelligence stand point but with that had zero common sense and was also quite gullible.
Driving down the road at night. This road had the yellow reflectors down the center stripe.
Me: Notice the yellow lights on the road?.
Her: Yeah
Me: I know how to turn them off.
Her: Really? (Knew I had her at this point)
Me: Yeah, Watch this. (I ease over so my tire is hitting the reflectors.)
Me: Now look behind us. (She turns around and sees no more yellow lights)
Her: (Mouth agape) I never knew you could do that!
Another time while we were out on the road, this time it was daytime and raining. The road we were on had a lot of trees hanging over the road thus creating slight pauses in the rain as we drove under each tree.
Me: Notice the short little pauses in the rain?
Her: Yeah
Me: Know what causes that?
Her: No, what? (I've got her again)
Me: The pauses are caused by the spaces in between the rain clouds.
Her: Wow, I never thought of that. (once again, mouth agape)
Another time I go over to her house. She and her mom had been out hitting yard sales. She was showing me everything she'd bought. One item she held up was a small bed sheet with the profile of a rooster in the middle.
Her: Do you like this sheet I bought?
Me: I do, but that's not a sheet. That's a flag.
Her: A flag? What kind of flag? (Once again the hook is set)
Me: That's the flag of the Rooster Republic.
Her: The Rooster Republic? I've never heard of it.
Me: Yeah, it's a small island country in the Caribbean very close to the Banana Republic.
Her: Oh, OK. I' know about the Banana Republic, I've got one of their shirts.
Driving down the road at night. This road had the yellow reflectors down the center stripe.
Me: Notice the yellow lights on the road?.
Her: Yeah
Me: I know how to turn them off.
Her: Really? (Knew I had her at this point)
Me: Yeah, Watch this. (I ease over so my tire is hitting the reflectors.)
Me: Now look behind us. (She turns around and sees no more yellow lights)
Her: (Mouth agape) I never knew you could do that!
Another time while we were out on the road, this time it was daytime and raining. The road we were on had a lot of trees hanging over the road thus creating slight pauses in the rain as we drove under each tree.
Me: Notice the short little pauses in the rain?
Her: Yeah
Me: Know what causes that?
Her: No, what? (I've got her again)
Me: The pauses are caused by the spaces in between the rain clouds.
Her: Wow, I never thought of that. (once again, mouth agape)
Another time I go over to her house. She and her mom had been out hitting yard sales. She was showing me everything she'd bought. One item she held up was a small bed sheet with the profile of a rooster in the middle.
Her: Do you like this sheet I bought?
Me: I do, but that's not a sheet. That's a flag.
Her: A flag? What kind of flag? (Once again the hook is set)
Me: That's the flag of the Rooster Republic.
Her: The Rooster Republic? I've never heard of it.
Me: Yeah, it's a small island country in the Caribbean very close to the Banana Republic.
Her: Oh, OK. I' know about the Banana Republic, I've got one of their shirts.
Posted on 12/16/14 at 10:01 am to DollaChoppa
On the way to her graduation from LSU, "Is Delaware a city or a state?"
Posted on 12/16/14 at 10:01 am to i drink the kool aid
quote:
I went on a couple dates with a girl, and she told me that "her cat thinks that he is a real person." That was the last date we went on.
I think we might be eskimo brothers.
Posted on 12/16/14 at 10:43 am to DollaChoppa
I posted this previously, but my best friend in high school dated a girl and we all went on a double date to see Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. When we got in his car heading home after the movie, she looked at him and asked "So that was based on a true story?". She was sadly completely and totally serious. I lost my shite.
Posted on 12/16/14 at 10:43 am to DollaChoppa
Was in the student center one day when the space shuttle was up and the girl I was dating at the time asked if the shuttle had windshield wipers. And when I asked why, she said "Because it is raining outside and they won't be able to see."
In my attempt to explain that it didn't matter at the time because there is no rain in space, she acted like I was trying to say the world is flat. Poor girl. Not the smartest in the shed but man could she frick!
In my attempt to explain that it didn't matter at the time because there is no rain in space, she acted like I was trying to say the world is flat. Poor girl. Not the smartest in the shed but man could she frick!
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