re: Parent Problems looking for advice

God could tell this man he is wrong and he would not think see...The most hard headed, stubborn person i have ever met

I lived in erwinville my entire life, baw.

I'm sorry you are in this situation, but my advice... I agree with Mahootney on this one.

This isn't an issue between your dad and your wife and daughter, you are man enough to know what you need to do to protect them, this is an issue between him and you.

My outlook is different than most here obviously. Out of love I couldn't cut him off. You have the power to influence him and the opportunity to try and help him. It sounds like he doesn't realize how he is, and maybe he just needs his son to sit down and have a real man-to-man, foot-in-the-arse talk with him. Every dad wants their kids to be proud of them, no matter how bad they are. It may take some deep digging to pull on that string but you have the opportunity to do so.

My personal view is if you love your dad nothing is too difficult if you have the opportunity to help him and to fix y'all relationship. You only get one dad and life is too short not to try and help him. Sounds like if you are able to help him you will be changing his life.

Once you fix the issue between you and your dad, then you will know what's in your wife and daughter's best interests.


For the record, no where near what you explained about your dad, but my dad's attitude was similar. Growing up he was superman to us but as I grew up I realized he was treating my mom like trash through mental and emotional abuse. In my mid-twenties I had enough of it and had a serious talk with him and told him about himself. Probably the hardest conversation I've ever had but it made him realize that taking out his unhappiness on my mom wasn't right. Ever since then he has changed and my mom is a lot happier, he's a lot happier, and our relationship is very strong. I'll say a prayer for y'all

There is no good reason to subject yourself or your family to an abusive relationship. Nothing good will come of it and there is still a lot of damage that can be done. I say get out and stay out...protect yourself and your family. Good luck man.

People are telling you that you have to protect your wife and child. Listen to them. The easiest way is to cut him out. He could decide your daughter needs to be punished and bruise her up. What then?

He tells you that it is all your wife's fault which means he doesn't like her. This puts her in danger too. Cut him out.

He has spent your whole life telling you who he is. Believe him.

I tell you this after cutting my wife's father out of our lives in 2001. I am the voice of experience. Believe me when I tell you that you will not miss him and your life will improve. You will realize that every other area of your life was suffering because of his bullshite.

Cut him loose. Don't look back.

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Sounds like if you are able to help him you will be changing his life.

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Thats the thing i have sat down and explained hundreds of times and he just points his fingers at others, i have asked him to go see someone and he wont because he doesnt think anyone is wrong and it would kill him to find out he really is bi-polar, im fricken 26 and have chest pains from dealing with this man... i have watched him beat my mom, beat me for shite like missing a pop fly at the age of 8, no sexual stuff but he has done way worse things.....in all honesty i was 8 years old and had a crack barrel 4-10 loaded in my closet because i couldnt take him hurting my mom anymore but luckily it all ended when it did to that extent...

I appreciate all of yalls input and i know what the right thing is to do, i am very forgiving but you can only do it so many times until your heart cant take it

As has been said a bunch, you simple move on without him. I' never had this issue with a parent but two sisters who were just impossible.

It can be hard but you just wash your hands of them and move on with your life knowing you removed a cancerous portion. Best thing you'll ever do for yourself and your family. Good luck.

Hangit just provided you some seriously good advice. You asked for guidance and you really need to read this all and understand the situation you find yourself encompassed within. You dad is addicted to abuse (whether physical or emotional) and its time to step up to the plate for your family. Do you want your daughter growing up even remotely similar to the way you did?

This is how I see it.....a drug addict can't get sober living around the same people that made him an addict. Hell an addict can't even live within the same community of where they once did drugs because its too easy to find a dealer. Its time to move, my friend. Not Run. But time to move on. Finding a new job, new town, new place where you, your wife, and your child can create your own space in this world. I know us Louisiana folks like being "home" but my wife and i moved to Texas for 5 years and it did wonders for our lives, personal growth, and our little family. We've since moved back but we moved backed under our own conditions and we grew leaps and bounds as young people and adults. Its time to shake the globe. Change is needed. You'll thank me for it. Good Luck. Much Love.

Thanks a bunch mthorn

Exactly right tigeralum.

I know he is crushed from not seeing her but I can't even get him to apologize