Started By
Message

re: Just met the GF's mom- should I be concerned?

Posted on 5/12/14 at 9:41 pm to
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
128950 posts
Posted on 5/12/14 at 9:41 pm to
I promise you I am NOTHING like my mother.


I've made it my goal since I was a child to never be like her. Ever.
Posted by lsugal121212
Louisiana
Member since Jan 2014
886 posts
Posted on 5/12/14 at 9:50 pm to
How old are you? Did your mom raise you?
Posted by lsunurse
Member since Dec 2005
128950 posts
Posted on 5/12/14 at 9:55 pm to
36 and yes she raised me


But I am nothing like her.

It is possible. I don't hate my mother. I just always strived to be different than her. I recognized at an early age that I was nothing like her.
Posted by Thib-a-doe Tiger
Member since Nov 2012
35346 posts
Posted on 5/12/14 at 9:57 pm to
So you gf's mom is a woman? Got it
Posted by Stringer Bell
The Towers
Member since May 2014
658 posts
Posted on 5/12/14 at 9:59 pm to
RUN MFER RUN
Posted by lsugal121212
Louisiana
Member since Jan 2014
886 posts
Posted on 5/12/14 at 10:00 pm to
Well congrats, I am just like my mom! A lot of her bad traits but a lot of good one's too!
This post was edited on 5/12/14 at 10:02 pm
Posted by OleWar
Troy H. Middleton Library
Member since Mar 2008
5828 posts
Posted on 5/12/14 at 10:01 pm to
money problems- this is your issue not so much the emotional aspect.

If you are thinking long term, your biggest issue is your future mother in laws economic viability. If she is loaded monetarily from the divorce, death of husband or her own economic independence you are good to go. If she is in debt, jobless, disabled etc etc. then anticipate to one day having to subsidize her/ getting in arguments about subsidizing her, or just having her move in with you.

Best of luck.
Posted by Monk
Baton Rouge
Member since Aug 2007
3660 posts
Posted on 5/12/14 at 10:22 pm to
Yes, very concerned. It is not a myth but don't ever try to convince your gf of this fact. Never even suggest that she is acting like her Mother, especially if she has issues with mom.
Posted by Asharad
Tiamat
Member since Dec 2010
5689 posts
Posted on 5/13/14 at 3:55 am to
quote:

But I would discourage marrying a girl whos mom is her best friend.


I've been married 19 years. My wife has always been super close to her mom. It's not a problem.

I don't understand why you guys are being so over-dramatic.
This post was edited on 5/13/14 at 3:56 am
Posted by Yewkindewit
Near Birmingham, Alabama
Member since Apr 2012
20023 posts
Posted on 5/13/14 at 7:09 am to
Vote for Pedro!
Posted by SouthOfSouth
Baton Rouge
Member since Jun 2008
43456 posts
Posted on 5/13/14 at 7:19 am to
My sister has little by little become my mother. It's really funny because she never wanted to be like her.

Posted by rd280z
Richmond
Member since Jan 2007
2305 posts
Posted on 5/13/14 at 7:44 am to
I would enjoy the ride but not get too attached. Sounds like a future of high drama and misery
Posted by nikinik
Mid City
Member since Jan 2009
5733 posts
Posted on 5/13/14 at 7:51 am to
That's a tough one. You never know what is going on with her mom. She could be facing some serious challenges in her life that you know nothing about, which could be causing her to be not like herself. A death of a loved one, menopause, loss of a job, infidelity. You just never know. I'd keep your feet and mind firmly planted in the relationship between you and your girlfriend without letting outside things (like her mom's mental state) interfere with that.
Posted by TygerTyger
Houston
Member since Oct 2010
9182 posts
Posted on 5/13/14 at 7:59 am to
quote:

I've never heard of girls sharing the same emotional traits as their mother. But who knows. Physical traits down the line is a completely different story.


Incorrect sir. If the mother is an emotional train wreck, the daughter will see that as "normal". The behavior of parents sets the standard for their kids. The crazy gets passed on like hair color and male pattern baldness.

Sure, she may seem like she's aware of her mom's disfunction and knows better. But in times of stress, when the real "her" comes out, she'll revert back to what she knows as normal. And you'll have a clusterfrick of emotional irrational bullshite on your hands.
Posted by Boudreaux35
BR
Member since Sep 2007
21420 posts
Posted on 5/13/14 at 8:22 am to
quote:

And she also gets drunk every night.


What the hell is wrong with that? Only time I get any action is when my wife gets drunk. If she got drunk every nite, I'd be a lot happier.
Posted by KG6
Member since Aug 2009
10920 posts
Posted on 5/13/14 at 8:27 am to
I'm in the same boat, but on top of you problems throw in that she's completely and totally unattractive, has had terrible money problems, and is about as mature as an 11 year old when it comes to certain things. My wife shows no signs of having her personality, and often complains about her mother. You can tell my wife is her mother's daughter as they share some features, but I would say my wife is pretty decent looking. I'm hoping age doesnt transform her.
Posted by Austin Cajun
Austin, Tejas
Member since Aug 2013
1884 posts
Posted on 5/13/14 at 8:31 am to
quote:

Do girls end up turning into their mother? I'm concerned.


Yes and No. I wish I had been smart enough to pay attention to this when I was younger. My ex mother in law is bat shite crazy. Bipolar, alcoholic, liar, cheater, you name it. Surely her daughter will pick up on some of those traits. When we started dating, she despised her mothers habits and ways, so I didn't put much thought into it.

As life progressed, I started seeing some of those traits starting to pop out. She started lying a lot, I suspected her of cheating but could never prove it. Nothing was ever her fault. Even if you pinpoint one particular thing she did to start something, she will deny it. To this day it's still a problem. Obviously, we divorced a few years ago and we have a child together. I have our kid on average 5 days a week and she will actually try to argue and say that she has him more than I do even though I can account for the days and point it out to her. She ignores the facts just like her mother does.

Point being, she may not end up exactly like her mom, but there will be certain traits she's going to pick up on. In your case, they are close so she's more likely to be just like her mom.
Posted by MrAndroid
South of Enterprise
Member since Feb 2011
1489 posts
Posted on 5/13/14 at 8:32 am to
quote:

Do girls end up turning into their mother? I'm concerned. My gf is already a bit emotional and drinks a lot (but were young and everyone does at our age). Should I bail now or at least work on an exit strategy?



Run, Run Fast, Run very Fast!
Posted by TigerPanzer
Orlando
Member since Sep 2006
9476 posts
Posted on 5/13/14 at 8:38 am to
Mom is overly emotional and drinks a lot. GF is overly emotional and drinks a lot. Dude, you just answered your own question right there. Bail like a haymaker on this one.

Posted by lake chuck fan
westlake
Member since Aug 2011
9136 posts
Posted on 5/13/14 at 8:51 am to
The is a reason for the old saying, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree".
Think about it, the gf spent her entire life w/mom as her role model. She cant avoid NOT being like her mom. Question is: how much?

if you don't like mom, RUN!
first pageprev pagePage 4 of 5Next pagelast page

Back to top
logoFollow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News
Follow us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on LSU Football and Recruiting.

FacebookTwitterInstagram