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re: Just met the GF's mom- should I be concerned?
Posted on 5/12/14 at 9:41 pm to lsugal121212
Posted on 5/12/14 at 9:41 pm to lsugal121212
I promise you I am NOTHING like my mother.
I've made it my goal since I was a child to never be like her. Ever.
I've made it my goal since I was a child to never be like her. Ever.
1
Posted on 5/12/14 at 9:50 pm to lsunurse
How old are you? Did your mom raise you?
Posted on 5/12/14 at 9:55 pm to lsugal121212
36 and yes she raised me
But I am nothing like her.
It is possible. I don't hate my mother. I just always strived to be different than her. I recognized at an early age that I was nothing like her.
But I am nothing like her.
It is possible. I don't hate my mother. I just always strived to be different than her. I recognized at an early age that I was nothing like her.
Posted on 5/12/14 at 9:57 pm to Tigerfan56
So you gf's mom is a woman? Got it
Posted on 5/12/14 at 10:00 pm to lsunurse
Well congrats, I am just like my mom! A lot of her bad traits but a lot of good one's too!
This post was edited on 5/12/14 at 10:02 pm
Posted on 5/12/14 at 10:01 pm to Tigerfan56
money problems- this is your issue not so much the emotional aspect.
If you are thinking long term, your biggest issue is your future mother in laws economic viability. If she is loaded monetarily from the divorce, death of husband or her own economic independence you are good to go. If she is in debt, jobless, disabled etc etc. then anticipate to one day having to subsidize her/ getting in arguments about subsidizing her, or just having her move in with you.
Best of luck.
If you are thinking long term, your biggest issue is your future mother in laws economic viability. If she is loaded monetarily from the divorce, death of husband or her own economic independence you are good to go. If she is in debt, jobless, disabled etc etc. then anticipate to one day having to subsidize her/ getting in arguments about subsidizing her, or just having her move in with you.
Best of luck.
Posted on 5/12/14 at 10:22 pm to Tigerfan56
Yes, very concerned. It is not a myth but don't ever try to convince your gf of this fact. Never even suggest that she is acting like her Mother, especially if she has issues with mom.
Posted on 5/13/14 at 3:55 am to mkibod1
quote:
But I would discourage marrying a girl whos mom is her best friend.
I've been married 19 years. My wife has always been super close to her mom. It's not a problem.
I don't understand why you guys are being so over-dramatic.
This post was edited on 5/13/14 at 3:56 am
Posted on 5/13/14 at 7:09 am to Tigerfan56
Vote for Pedro! 
Posted on 5/13/14 at 7:19 am to Yewkindewit
My sister has little by little become my mother. It's really funny because she never wanted to be like her.
Posted on 5/13/14 at 7:44 am to Tigerfan56
I would enjoy the ride but not get too attached. Sounds like a future of high drama and misery
Posted on 5/13/14 at 7:51 am to Tigerfan56
That's a tough one. You never know what is going on with her mom. She could be facing some serious challenges in her life that you know nothing about, which could be causing her to be not like herself. A death of a loved one, menopause, loss of a job, infidelity. You just never know. I'd keep your feet and mind firmly planted in the relationship between you and your girlfriend without letting outside things (like her mom's mental state) interfere with that.
Posted on 5/13/14 at 7:59 am to JBeam
quote:
I've never heard of girls sharing the same emotional traits as their mother. But who knows. Physical traits down the line is a completely different story.
Incorrect sir. If the mother is an emotional train wreck, the daughter will see that as "normal". The behavior of parents sets the standard for their kids. The crazy gets passed on like hair color and male pattern baldness.
Sure, she may seem like she's aware of her mom's disfunction and knows better. But in times of stress, when the real "her" comes out, she'll revert back to what she knows as normal. And you'll have a clusterfrick of emotional irrational bullshite on your hands.
Posted on 5/13/14 at 8:22 am to Tigerfan56
quote:
And she also gets drunk every night.
What the hell is wrong with that? Only time I get any action is when my wife gets drunk. If she got drunk every nite, I'd be a lot happier.
Posted on 5/13/14 at 8:27 am to Tigerfan56
I'm in the same boat, but on top of you problems throw in that she's completely and totally unattractive, has had terrible money problems, and is about as mature as an 11 year old when it comes to certain things. My wife shows no signs of having her personality, and often complains about her mother. You can tell my wife is her mother's daughter as they share some features, but I would say my wife is pretty decent looking. I'm hoping age doesnt transform her.
Posted on 5/13/14 at 8:31 am to TygerTyger
quote:
Do girls end up turning into their mother? I'm concerned.
Yes and No. I wish I had been smart enough to pay attention to this when I was younger. My ex mother in law is bat shite crazy. Bipolar, alcoholic, liar, cheater, you name it. Surely her daughter will pick up on some of those traits. When we started dating, she despised her mothers habits and ways, so I didn't put much thought into it.
As life progressed, I started seeing some of those traits starting to pop out. She started lying a lot, I suspected her of cheating but could never prove it. Nothing was ever her fault. Even if you pinpoint one particular thing she did to start something, she will deny it. To this day it's still a problem. Obviously, we divorced a few years ago and we have a child together. I have our kid on average 5 days a week and she will actually try to argue and say that she has him more than I do even though I can account for the days and point it out to her. She ignores the facts just like her mother does.
Point being, she may not end up exactly like her mom, but there will be certain traits she's going to pick up on. In your case, they are close so she's more likely to be just like her mom.
Posted on 5/13/14 at 8:32 am to Tigerfan56
quote:
Do girls end up turning into their mother? I'm concerned. My gf is already a bit emotional and drinks a lot (but were young and everyone does at our age). Should I bail now or at least work on an exit strategy?
Run, Run Fast, Run very Fast!
Posted on 5/13/14 at 8:38 am to Tigerfan56
Mom is overly emotional and drinks a lot. GF is overly emotional and drinks a lot. Dude, you just answered your own question right there. Bail like a haymaker on this one.
Posted on 5/13/14 at 8:51 am to Tigerfan56
The is a reason for the old saying, "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree".
Think about it, the gf spent her entire life w/mom as her role model. She cant avoid NOT being like her mom. Question is: how much?
if you don't like mom, RUN!
Think about it, the gf spent her entire life w/mom as her role model. She cant avoid NOT being like her mom. Question is: how much?
if you don't like mom, RUN!
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