Friends son just passed away in a car accident

Just cry with him, bro.

I worry about my wife and children every day, can’t imagine if anything happened to them. I don’t think there’s any right thing to do in this situation upon from standing with him in grief

You don’t have to say anything. Just go be with him. You can just sit there with him and not say a word. He’ll talk to you if he wants to but don’t count on it. Let him grieve

Let him decide when and what to say but be available and offering that availability on a respectful basis is about all you can do.

probably avoid telling them anything like "well God has a plan..." I'd always imagine I would want to punch someone in the face if a person told me that following the loss of a child.

Nothing you need to say or specifically do except to just be there for them. They will be on a roller coaster for a while so just meet them where they are in that particular moment.

Be there and be available. Right now, things will be like a whirlwind for them with people around and services etc...

Some of the hardest times are when that's over and people are no longer around. It can feel like everyone moved on easily and you are left alone in your grief.

I’ll say sometimes giving some space in the initial flood of support and following around in a week or two is not terrible either depending on how close you are.

When the meal train ends and the house is quiet it could be appreciated to have a second wave of support.

quote:

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probably avoid telling them anything like "well God has a plan..." I'd always imagine I would want to punch someone in the face if a person told me that following the loss of a child.

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And whatever you say, DONT say, “I know how you feel, it’ll get better with time”

Unless you’ve lost a child you don’t know how it feels and it NEVER gets better.

There is value to being there for him at this time but be conscious of how much and try not to add to the stress. He is likely getting a ton of phone calls, visits, food, etc. right now. When my dad passed, my mom was at the point of getting overwhelmed because everyone wanted to stop by and chat, and while it's nice, it is also a lot to deal with. Of course you should reach out and let him know you are there for him, but it could possibly be better to wait a few weeks to do something and in order to give him and his family time to process everything without overwhelming them.

Added: basically everything the guy above me said. Checking in consistently over the course of the next year will honestly probably be more helpful than anything you could do right now.