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re: Divorce Experience
Posted on 1/14/23 at 7:39 am to Spaceman Spiff
Posted on 1/14/23 at 7:39 am to Spaceman Spiff
quote:
Mine went as good as it could: I got the house, vehicle, dog, and mount 50/50 custody. And since mine is active duty, I’ll also get a little after tax monthly sum once she retires…
She must have cheated or had drug problems.
0
Posted on 1/14/23 at 7:40 am to Lake Vegas Tiger
My brother ( RIP) was married to this bitch for twenty years. He raised her son as his own. She left him for another man. He got the worst hometown lawyer around ( who after the fact , we found out that he was friends with her family). Anyway my brother had to give her half of his 401k( 200k). That bitch called my sister asking her to see about her sons inheritance. My sister told her to go get fricked we weren’t helping her do shite
Posted on 1/14/23 at 7:41 am to Gee Grenouille
This thread will become exhibit A at the next hearing
Posted on 1/14/23 at 7:41 am to Alimoneydave
2009
Be prepared to be raped in a Courtroom & treated like a criminal.
Be prepared to be raped in a Courtroom & treated like a criminal.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 7:54 am to shiftworker
Try marriage counseling first.
If I had the mindset of those divorced, I would have a dozen reasons to divorce my wife, and she has the same amount to divorce me, but we are both aware that marriage has its ups and downs and it takes work and patience. A few years ago we were at a very low point, and now it is stronger than ever.
Get counseling with her. You will be surprised at how it can improve your relationship. You have to try everything you can before you decide to split. Do it for your child.
If I had the mindset of those divorced, I would have a dozen reasons to divorce my wife, and she has the same amount to divorce me, but we are both aware that marriage has its ups and downs and it takes work and patience. A few years ago we were at a very low point, and now it is stronger than ever.
Get counseling with her. You will be surprised at how it can improve your relationship. You have to try everything you can before you decide to split. Do it for your child.
This post was edited on 1/14/23 at 7:55 am
Posted on 1/14/23 at 7:54 am to Alimoneydave
quote:
Alimoneydave
A good place to start wiould be to request a name change.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 7:55 am to Alimoneydave
Until the U.S. court systems finally gets over considering the woman as the victim then the man will always be the one that gets screwed especially if there are children involved.
I think most on this site have been divorced at least once and got screwed. Not many divorce stories i can remember reading on here in my 18 years that the guy was like dang that wasnt bad at all and i made out pretty good on this. Now add minor kids to the mix and all i got for you is prepare your you know what.
I think most on this site have been divorced at least once and got screwed. Not many divorce stories i can remember reading on here in my 18 years that the guy was like dang that wasnt bad at all and i made out pretty good on this. Now add minor kids to the mix and all i got for you is prepare your you know what.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 7:56 am to lsusteve1
Marriage sounds like such a good deal.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 8:02 am to FLObserver
quote:
Not many divorce stories i can remember reading on here in my 18 years that the guy was like dang that wasnt bad at all and i made out pretty good on this. Now add minor kids to the mix and all i got for you is prepare your you know what.
I eventually got sole custody of my daughter, but the financial and emotional toll was brutal. It was indeed worth it, but the damage was devastating.
This is why tell people considering divorce to just fold their hand. Use the house as leverage to get as much visitation as possible. Hell, if you can be the domiscilary parent by walking away from the property, all the better. Most times giving up equity in a house is enough for a woman to agree to 50/50.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 8:08 am to touchdownjeebus
quote:
This is why tell people considering divorce to just fold their hand. Use the house as leverage to get as much visitation as possible. Hell, if you can be the domiscilary parent by walking away from the property, all the better. Most times giving up equity in a house is enough for a woman to agree to 50/50.
I got over 300k in mine i'm sure my wife would agree to those terms.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 8:12 am to Alimoneydave
Honestly, buddy. That 5-10 years post birth is rough for every marriage. Unless she is an addict or cheating, let this set for a few days and get a gameplan to power ahead and work it out. I got a few buddies that left like you are doing, and all of them say that after the new of a few women wear out, they wish they'd grinded out and stuck with their family. GL.
This post was edited on 1/14/23 at 8:14 am
Posted on 1/14/23 at 8:15 am to Alimoneydave
be generous. never let your kids see you hurt mom in any way. Be nice. it will pay off in the long run.
It is cheaper, and it is a better investment to spend money on your family rather than lawyers.
i'm a lawyer who did divorce work until i couldn't stand it anymore. i am divorced and have a good relation with my kids and my ex.
It is cheaper, and it is a better investment to spend money on your family rather than lawyers.
i'm a lawyer who did divorce work until i couldn't stand it anymore. i am divorced and have a good relation with my kids and my ex.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 8:26 am to tigerinthebueche
quote:
Brother, I don’t know anyone who’s had this type of experience in a divorce. I wish you luck.
I did. Didn't pay a dime except to my lawyer. am domiciliary parent and kid lives with me 90% of the time. No alimony no spousal support. I got out of jail free.
You need a good lawyer and have a total frickup as an (ex) wife but it can happen. That said it doesn't seem to apply on this case.
This post was edited on 1/14/23 at 8:28 am
Posted on 1/14/23 at 8:33 am to soccerfüt
quote:
I’m sure you’ve already thought what irreparable harm divorce will do to them….
Yep. You better make damn sure this is the only alternative.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 8:34 am to Alimoneydave
1.) child development consultations. You need to do this in the least damaging way possible. Its not a one shot, you will need to continuously be looking around the corner for threats to their well being.
2.) Family law varies by parish/county. If you are somewhere that starts custody at 50/50 then count your blessings, but you are still screwed.
3.) You are screwed BC of the income delta. Its a standard normalization calculation for child support. That calc gets weighted further based on custody ratio.
4.) Does she have work credentials that go unused? If so, there is a thing called "failure to earn potential" or something of the sort. Attorneys have a book with credentials and what they should earn. That can go into the normalization calculation.
4.) Don't divorce if you can help it. You signed a contract with your child(ren) upon conception. Divorce is parents taking the cross off of their shoulders and placing it on their kids.
"Children are resilient" is a trashy phrase that selfish ppl say to justify doing selfish things.
I dont know your scenario so am just speaking in generalities. Just dont minimize the impact it has on children.
2.) Family law varies by parish/county. If you are somewhere that starts custody at 50/50 then count your blessings, but you are still screwed.
3.) You are screwed BC of the income delta. Its a standard normalization calculation for child support. That calc gets weighted further based on custody ratio.
4.) Does she have work credentials that go unused? If so, there is a thing called "failure to earn potential" or something of the sort. Attorneys have a book with credentials and what they should earn. That can go into the normalization calculation.
4.) Don't divorce if you can help it. You signed a contract with your child(ren) upon conception. Divorce is parents taking the cross off of their shoulders and placing it on their kids.
"Children are resilient" is a trashy phrase that selfish ppl say to justify doing selfish things.
I dont know your scenario so am just speaking in generalities. Just dont minimize the impact it has on children.
This post was edited on 1/14/23 at 9:57 am
Posted on 1/14/23 at 8:38 am to Alimoneydave
quote:
merely want equal custody and not to be completely screwed financially
Cancel the divorce. Not even joking.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 8:44 am to DerkaDerka
All true. Divorces suck and have an impact on children. But sometimes the effect of what’s going on inside the married household is far worse. Especially if there is abuse, alcoholism or severe marital strife. Better to give kids at least 50% of their time in a happy, stable household rather than 100% of their time in a dysfunctional, volatile, or abusive household.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 8:51 am to Alimoneydave
Even if you get 50/50 custody….try to get your child at least one more day than your ex for the year.
Then that will qualify you to claim head of household on your taxes. My bf keeps strict track of his days with his kids partly for this reason.
He also only now communicates with his ex via email and only text if it’s urgent. That way if she tries to claim he agreed to something or said something he actually did not….he can easily pull up the emails, texts as proof. Document everything.
Every decision he made during his divorce (which she is the one that wanted it and filed) was about what was best for his kids. She wanted to force him to sell their house….he fought like hell to keep it and buy her out of it so his kids got to keep the house they have always known and at least have that piece of stability.
Then that will qualify you to claim head of household on your taxes. My bf keeps strict track of his days with his kids partly for this reason.
He also only now communicates with his ex via email and only text if it’s urgent. That way if she tries to claim he agreed to something or said something he actually did not….he can easily pull up the emails, texts as proof. Document everything.
Every decision he made during his divorce (which she is the one that wanted it and filed) was about what was best for his kids. She wanted to force him to sell their house….he fought like hell to keep it and buy her out of it so his kids got to keep the house they have always known and at least have that piece of stability.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:02 am to lsugradman
quote:
But sometimes the effect of what’s going on inside the married household is far worse.
Agreed, but I think this stance is often offered too readily as a counterpoint. Gets used with salvageable things like when there is too much arguing. Adults are the adults and the burden is theirs to make it work and to increase their children's odds of success.
I get it though. What is one to do if their partner refuses to be an adult and work towards improving the situation? Marry wisely my friends.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:15 am to GeauxxxTigers23
quote:
Drops the side piece and stay with your family Jackass
I agree with this, but if it does come to divorce my experience is that it's pretty formulaic. "Lawyer up, delete Facebook, keep wearing the ring, etc." doesn't actually make much of a difference in practice, especially when it comes to money.
Do not move out, though. That can make a difference.
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