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Message
re: Divorce Experience
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:22 am to USMEagles
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:22 am to USMEagles
Also, don't get too hung up on the financial doom and gloom. I went into divorce fully expecting to wind up bankrupt, but at the end of it I felt like I'd gotten a raise. The relatively well-defined nature of a divorce settlement is vastly easier to plan around than the open-ended commitment of being married to someone who won't grow up.
The raises I've received since my divorce easily cover what I have to pay monthly. Now, she could drag me back to court, but she's had raises, too, and she'd have to go hire a lawyer. So she gets what she gets, and I eat what I kill at work.
The raises I've received since my divorce easily cover what I have to pay monthly. Now, she could drag me back to court, but she's had raises, too, and she'd have to go hire a lawyer. So she gets what she gets, and I eat what I kill at work.
0
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:23 am to TrapperJohn
quote:
your 8 year old is going to take this hard. Be prepared to get counseling for them if you actually go through with this.
The only counselor a real man uses is named Jack Daniels
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:26 am to Alimoneydave
quote:
not to be completely screwed financially.
Think you need to define screwed. Under ideal circumstances, everybody loses financially. Even if you were both equal, now you can’t split the bill for Netflix, electricity, etc. Anyone who considers themself a “breadwinner” needs to expect a complete financial reset. With that said, the level of screwed is how long into the future it takes to get your finances back to today.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:26 am to Alimoneydave
Pictures and I may be willing to take her off your hands. I like the crazy ones.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:29 am to Alimoneydave
Someone is sticking her right now and it’s not you, yeah?
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:31 am to JKLazurus
quote:
you can’t split the bill for Netflix
I think we kept doing this
. Doesn't detract from your overall point, but it does go to show... you ain't gettin' rid of her.Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:38 am to Alimoneydave
Be nice. Try and be as nice as possible. Get along. Cooperate. Don’t be jealous. Go to events that she’s at.
It will make things much easier
It will make things much easier
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:39 am to Alimoneydave
Exhibit 35069 on why to never get married
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:43 am to Alimoneydave
My kids were 10 and 8 when it was finalized. Long story short her dad committed suicide and my ex went crazy and started doing her own thing (ie she became a huge whore). I was patient because I wanted the kids. It took me 2 years to exit and another 1.5 years to get her to agree to the terms. At the beginning of the process my lawyer told me what to expect to pay and I was determined not to get raked.
Essentially, I walked away from a paid for house (for a while). I kept my 401k and pension. I won that by a 70 to 30% advantage. I paid zero child support or alimony dispite making double her pay at the time. I got primary custody of the kids and she got every other weekend. We did this while the the negotiations were ongoing. The day that the divorce was final my oldest never slept under her roof again. My youngest still went, mainly because of guilt from her grandparents (ex mom and stepdad) My ex blamed me for my oldest doing that for years, until he told her one day in front of her and other family members of hers that it was his decision alone. He said it was all her fault and I shouldn't be punished for her actions, he never had any relationship with her mom again. He told everyone I encouraged him to keep a good relationship with her because she was the only mother she would have. I honestly think that hurt her more that what she let herself believe. Truth was my mom was more of a mother that her to my kids (her only 2 grands as my 2 siblings never had kids).
When my oldest graduated college he ended up buying my ex's house for half of what it was worth. Long story on that one. I paid cash for it and financed it to him. That pissed her off. It is now worth 4xs what he paid for it 5 years ago.
DIVORCE SUCKS AND IS WORSE WITH KIDS, no sugarcoating it.
Essentially, I walked away from a paid for house (for a while). I kept my 401k and pension. I won that by a 70 to 30% advantage. I paid zero child support or alimony dispite making double her pay at the time. I got primary custody of the kids and she got every other weekend. We did this while the the negotiations were ongoing. The day that the divorce was final my oldest never slept under her roof again. My youngest still went, mainly because of guilt from her grandparents (ex mom and stepdad) My ex blamed me for my oldest doing that for years, until he told her one day in front of her and other family members of hers that it was his decision alone. He said it was all her fault and I shouldn't be punished for her actions, he never had any relationship with her mom again. He told everyone I encouraged him to keep a good relationship with her because she was the only mother she would have. I honestly think that hurt her more that what she let herself believe. Truth was my mom was more of a mother that her to my kids (her only 2 grands as my 2 siblings never had kids).
When my oldest graduated college he ended up buying my ex's house for half of what it was worth. Long story on that one. I paid cash for it and financed it to him. That pissed her off. It is now worth 4xs what he paid for it 5 years ago.
DIVORCE SUCKS AND IS WORSE WITH KIDS, no sugarcoating it.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:45 am to dgnx6
quote:IF you find an honorable person (and chances are their folks are usually also honorable people), it can be WONDERFUL!
Marriage sounds like such a good deal.
Hi honey!
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:48 am to soccerfüt
One thing to keep in mind is Social Security... I think if you can ditch her prior to completing a full decade of marriage, you keep it.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:50 am to USMEagles
quote:
One thing to keep in mind is Social Security... I think if you can ditch her prior to completing a full decade of marriage, you keep it.
Hahahah
You think that people under 45 actually expect to get any SS?
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:53 am to Rouge
quote:
You think that people under 45 actually expect to get any SS?
They'll just print money to cover it. Our political system is incapable of doing anything else.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:56 am to USMEagles
quote:
One thing to keep in mind is Social Security... I think if you can ditch her prior to completing a full decade of marriage, you keep it.
There are duration of marriage requirements for SS, but a divorce spouses amount off your record will have no impact on your or a current spouse's amount.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 9:58 am to Alimoneydave
Sister in law brought this up at the holidays and asked me what it would take for me to leave my wife. Her brother is a little bitch and is being owned by this lazy broad that has stripped him of all his pride.
My answer: attempted murder. Divorce is that costly. I can work through anything but attempted murder.
My answer: attempted murder. Divorce is that costly. I can work through anything but attempted murder.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 10:00 am to greenbean
quote:
There are duration of marriage requirements for SS, but a divorce spouses amount off your record will have no impact on your or a current spouse's amount.
Hmm. Maybe it doesn't matter then, unless you're just really spiteful
.
Posted on 1/14/23 at 10:02 am to jbgleason
quote:
This? At 5:58 on a Saturday morning and with one post?
OP stayed out all night with the guys and wife had enough
Posted on 1/14/23 at 10:03 am to Alimoneydave
quote:
I (male) filed and merely want equal custody and not to be completely screwed financially
quote:
Just want to end things as easy as possible and not fight over things.
Oh my sweet summer child
Posted on 1/14/23 at 10:05 am to Alimoneydave
Collaborative Law. Work everything out yourselves and get the lawyers to put it to paper. Do as much of your communicating as possible in writing (email, text) and record verbal conversations. Also, if there's any anger there, stow it. This is a business transaction now with no room for emotions. I walked away from a 17 year marriage with 3 kids with 50/50 custody and no child support. It cost me some money on the front end, but I saved my pension too.
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