re: Raising kids: Public vs Private

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it's actually that there are too many so-called leaders, but maybe that's the same thing.

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You got it right when you said "so-called"

These systems have way too many managers - i.e. people paid to manage. The systems are wayyyy top heavy and centralized with management, who generally suck at their jobs and thinks schools are improved with more TPS reports.

There are no actual real leaders - people inspiring and driving the organizations forward.

If your daughter is in a public school earning all 100s, the school is obligated by federal law to provide supplemental education: high achieving gifted students are lumped into the same special education moniker as students who have diagnosed deficiencies. So demand that the district test her abilities, or pay the couple of hundred bucks to have her tested on your own dime. If she qualifies, the district will have to create an individualized educational plan addressing her abilities; this can take the form of pull-out-of-class enrichment for several hours a week, accelerated coursework in particular subjects (skipping ahead a grade in math or reading, etc) or even inclusion into gifted-focused classrooms with other high achieving students. This will be way cheaper than private school.

For every private, college prep school that is academically rigorous, I can point to half a dozen engaging in grade inflation to keep type A, overachieving parents happy. US K-12 education is as much about socialization as it is about content...is she making friends, learning to work in groups, learning compassion & tolerance for people of all abilities and backgrounds? That's what public schools can build (and that private schools don't necessarily promote).

You can find enrichment for her through music lessons, camps, online classes, scouts, volunteer kiddie docent programs at museums, drama, voice, etc. Don't expect the school to see to all of her developmental needs....teach her to read ahead quietly, to bring her own supplemental reading material to class & discreetly read it when she's finished her work. Teach her to develop & engage her own curiosity about the world.

Yeah, I should have mentioned that. They have done that for her. Right now it's only a mentoring type program she and her teacher came up with where she tutors her classmates. This was mostly her idea. She really enjoys that. She's also in the gifted program.

Thanks for your input. It certainly gave me a different perspective. I've always been anti-private school, mainly because of the insulation from everyday folks they usually promote. I went to a predominantly black public high school, and highly value the learning I gained from dealing with a completely different race and culture than the one I was raised in. I'd hate to deprive my kids of that, though our high school is predominantly white. It is still more diverse than the private school we'd send her to if we made that decision.

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As for most of the catholic schools in Louisiana, Ive long felt they were severely overrated. It's the best many can do towards the goal of segregation. As if sitting next to a child who is poor, a minority, or comes from weak familial support will make your child dumber. I agree the students who are in the catholic schools are experiencing more academic suscess in the places mentioned, but I don't attribute it to the institutions themselves

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Well, now you are being a total douche canoe. The majority of public schools in Baton Rouge are catastrophically bad and dangerous to boot. Parents sacrificing to send a kid to a good school are concerned about their kid's welfare, and not budding members of the KKK. It's shitty of you to infer that. Jesus man, that's some out of line bullshite right there.

I live in St. Tammany parish where the public schools are good, but the private schools are better. Additionally, I'm paying for peer group and to have them surrounded by kids who expect to earn not only a Bachelor's but also graduate degrees.

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I think it all has to do with the type of people you want your kids to associate with later in life. My wife has many friends from school that are doctors, lawyers, business owners, etc. Most of mine are kind of trashy.

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Again, it really has to do with where you are. In Louisiana sure, I believe that. But there are many places that are nice to live that have great public schools. For what private middle school and HS costs you could cash flow most public HS and afford a down payment for a house for your kids. I've been to a private HS for a year, I agree with what you said. But my point is that's not the only place that can be found.

Of my close HS friends in the public school I graduated, I think I'm the only one without a masters and I have 6-8 HS friends that are are engineers with at least masters, a couple lawyers, and a couple of military officers. I was in IB (AP style classes) with 60ish other kids in my class but my HS was 2,000+

Again, the blind statement of private is better is simply wrong. My town has a small private HS, and anytime I meet those kids they are all over sheltered or super religious (nothing wrong there) because the public HS is very good so the only parents sending kids there are reaching for a reason.

What school district are you in? We are in Edmond with a 4th and 2nd grader (and a pre-k kid in the fall), and I wouldn't even consider private. I think it's a massive waste of money unless you're in a bad school district.

Unless you're in an exceptional public school system, I would go the private school route. Public schools are a reflection of the crazy society we live in. What you see or hear about is about 1/10 of what really happens in public schools! Fights, guns, drugs, theft and bullying are rampant in most public schools! If you really knew what went on in public schools across the country, you would be shocked beyond belief!