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re: How To Manage Accounts For Marriage
Posted on 8/25/14 at 10:48 am to Blakely Bimbo
Posted on 8/25/14 at 10:48 am to Blakely Bimbo
quote:
Merging money only works if you both have the same values concerning money.
It would be pretty hard to make a marriage work if you didn't have the same values concerning money
0
Posted on 8/25/14 at 10:55 am to RickAstley
One joint checking account for bills, one for personal spend (and interest). 99% of spend is on CC's, which are in both names. joint savings accounts. we each have one card in our names only, but do not use them.
Posted on 8/25/14 at 11:03 am to lsujro
we are joint on everything but retirement accounts, and a few side investments, but those are really joint. I just put them in my name to make transactions easier to deal with.
I have power of attorney and manage all of her retirement accounts.
When money was tight, I wish we had gone to a model of having a joint account to pay bills and two "fun" account where we manage our personal whims. It would have eliminated a bunch of arguments over money, as she wanted to do stuff that I didn't want to do (like her HS reunion).
But we have been married and are well established in our careers and money isn't an issue, so combined works just fine.
We do have a rule, if it costs more than $200 we have to consult the other person before purchasaing. This has worked very well for us.
I have power of attorney and manage all of her retirement accounts.
When money was tight, I wish we had gone to a model of having a joint account to pay bills and two "fun" account where we manage our personal whims. It would have eliminated a bunch of arguments over money, as she wanted to do stuff that I didn't want to do (like her HS reunion).
But we have been married and are well established in our careers and money isn't an issue, so combined works just fine.
We do have a rule, if it costs more than $200 we have to consult the other person before purchasaing. This has worked very well for us.
Posted on 8/25/14 at 3:33 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
We do have a rule, if it costs more than $200 we have to consult the other person before purchasaing. This has worked very well for us.
I think this is a key perspective. I think that's a bit on the low end since an average grocery visit can cost that much.
I've started talking to my girlfriend about it...no reason to avoid the subject when dating has an eventuality to it in mind.
Posted on 8/25/14 at 4:23 pm to lynxcat
quote:
I think this is a key perspective. I think that's a bit on the low end since an average grocery visit can cost that much.
I wasn't clear sorry, it was for one individual item.
Posted on 8/25/14 at 5:15 pm to Hawkeye95
quote:
I wasn't clear sorry, it was for one individual item.
That's why I like separate "play money" accounts. As long as you're covering the household bills, retirement contribution, savings contribution, and other monthly budgeted items like vacation, the "change" left in your individual account is YOURS. I don't have to discuss whether you need a new Browning 308 or a lifetime Netflix subscription, and you don't need to hear me justify my new Global knives or a $200 toaster oven.
We're grownups, we're allowed to have our own interests (that may bore the hell out of our spouses, but still...)
Posted on 8/25/14 at 7:22 pm to hungryone
quote:
That's why I like separate "play money" accounts. As long as you're covering the household bills, retirement contribution, savings contribution, and other monthly budgeted items like vacation, the "change" left in your individual account is YOURS. I don't have to discuss whether you need a new Browning 308 or a lifetime Netflix subscription, and you don't need to hear me justify my new Global knives or a $200 toaster oven.
We're grownups, we're allowed to have our own interests (that may bore the hell out of our spouses, but still...)
Works fine if you have two spouses that make the same amount of money, don't have kids and go dutch when you eat out together.
When you add in variables of different incomes, stay at home moms/dads, kids, and going out to eat...these "mine and yours" barriers get very blurry. It is better to have comingled assets since that is the entire idea of marriage in the first place. If you can't come to realize that you each have different things you value and want to buy, then you probably married the wrong person
Posted on 8/25/14 at 7:55 pm to lynxcat
quote:
Works fine if you have two spouses that make the same amount of money, don't have kids and go dutch when you eat out together.
It works fine for us and we have children. I make significantly more.
quote:
these "mine and yours" barriers get very blurry.
Says who?
quote:
If you can't come to realize that you each have different things you value and want to buy, then you probably married the wrong person
Exactly why we have our own accounts.
I pay for everything we do as a couple. Travel, food, entertainment etc.
I love it. She loves it. Thinking there's one way to handle marital finances is ignorant and the old fashioned way of doing things obviously isn't kicking arse since money is a top cause of fights and divorce.
Posted on 8/25/14 at 8:54 pm to lynxcat
quote:
When you add in variables of different incomes, stay at home moms/dads, kids, and going out to eat...these "mine and yours" barriers get very blurry. It is better to have comingled assets since that is the entire idea of marriage in the first place. If you can't come to realize that you each have different things you value and want to buy, then you probably married the wrong person
The "point" of marriage is not an economic one.....at least not in my household. And we do realize we have different ideas, at times, on what constitutes a valid purchase, hence the separate accounts. I'd rather talk about something interesting or entertaining w my better half, not discuss how much anyone spends on eBay or iTunes.
Marriage doesn't have to mean economic dependence or domination. It can be handled in much more logical and civilized ways.
Posted on 8/25/14 at 11:01 pm to LSUAfro
It works because you flex a lot to make that system work for your marriage. That's awesome and good for you.
You making significantly more could cause disagreements on who is responsible for paying for some expenses. Looks like you found a way to make it work.
Economics of a relationship are a part of it whether you want it to be or not. Nonetheless, yes there are multiple ways to manage accounts in marriage or this thread wouldn't exist.
For most, I do think direct deposit into a shared checking account is the easiest way to manage. It does take trust and communication though that both people are on the same page for how the money can be spent.
You making significantly more could cause disagreements on who is responsible for paying for some expenses. Looks like you found a way to make it work.
Economics of a relationship are a part of it whether you want it to be or not. Nonetheless, yes there are multiple ways to manage accounts in marriage or this thread wouldn't exist.
For most, I do think direct deposit into a shared checking account is the easiest way to manage. It does take trust and communication though that both people are on the same page for how the money can be spent.
Posted on 8/26/14 at 6:12 pm to lynxcat
I do joint account, with almost all purchases on cc for points (one cc in both of our names). We also have the "talk about large purchases before making them" policy. I feel that it encourages communication about money and awareness over the cost of things. It's not like we have to have sit down conversation about a $200 dress, but a simple phone call makes us both feel better about seeing what the other is spending our money on (often times it's a text saying "does this dress look nice? It's $250). It also keeps both of our spending in check.
Posted on 8/26/14 at 11:27 pm to Ric Flair
quote:
Much more money is spent on her than me. I have very few needs and I'm happy to spoil her. But she doesn't spend without my permission.
Even when she didn't work we made sure both of us had our own "slush fund" account I/we paid to each of us each month. Neither of us had to ask the other how we could spend it. She likes to spend hers on landscaping and I liked to go see the tigers play. It also eliminates the inferiority complex of her having to come ask me for money like she would her dad when she was younger. That money could be spent on anything the other wanted without discussion. Works great for us.
Posted on 8/27/14 at 10:58 am to hungryone
quote:
That's why I like separate "play money" accounts. As long as you're covering the household bills, retirement contribution, savings contribution, and other monthly budgeted items like vacation, the "change" left in your individual account is YOURS. I don't have to discuss whether you need a new Browning 308 or a lifetime Netflix subscription, and you don't need to hear me justify my new Global knives or a $200 toaster oven.
that would have been a good idea when we were younger. Now its not an issue. Since we implemented the rule, neither one of us has said no to any purchase. Its more of a courtesy.
Also, i make significantly more than her. So in the end I would be probably funding her play fund or she wouldn't contribute to overall house expenses at near the same rate.
Posted on 8/27/14 at 4:12 pm to Ric Flair
quote:
I do joint account, with almost all purchases on cc for points (one cc in both of our names). We also have the "talk about large purchases before making them" policy. I feel that it encourages communication about money and awareness over the cost of things. It's not like we have to have sit down conversation about a $200 dress, but a simple phone call makes us both feel better about seeing what the other is spending our money on (often times it's a text saying "does this dress look nice? It's $250). It also keeps both of our spending in check.
this is basically how we handle it, except i'm a researcher and the wife is not. i will research for days and discuss with her before buying anything over $100. if she wants a dress, she buys it and if i balk at price or don't like it, she brings it back.
Posted on 8/27/14 at 4:29 pm to RickAstley
Joint accounts, I do the budgeting with YNAB that we track on our phones.
Works out very well
Works out very well
Posted on 8/27/14 at 5:06 pm to RickAstley
My husband and I married young and made roughly the same salary. We each had a 401k, checking, and savings. We combined checking to pay all bills and started a joint savings, but kept everything else separate. We direct deposited "fun money" into our individual savings from each paycheck. We've been married 11 years now and the individual savings have gone away, but everything else is the same. He has credit cards for large purchases that are paid off every month, but I have don't have any CCs.
Posted on 8/28/14 at 1:00 pm to RickAstley
quote:
Checking / Savings
We both share a joint account
quote:
Roth IRA and 401k
Only I have a ROTH right now plus my 401k. She does a 503 program since she's a state employee until she finishes her fellowship.
quote:
Credit Cards
We don't have any. If we can't afford to do it, then we don't do it.
We live by a pretty strict budget. As I've spoken of many times, we want to have her Med School/My MBA paid off in the next 7-8 years. We certainly don't live like poors, but it would be nice not having $1000 fly out the door every month, and that is interest only. Wait until they balloon for the last five years.
Posted on 8/28/14 at 1:04 pm to TheWiz
Really surprised by the amount of anti-credit card people on the money board. i have always been of the opinion that not using a card is throwing money away - the 1-2% rewards is basically baked in to the price of everything you buy. it's no different managing your money with a credit card than a checking account - just spend less than you make and you're good.
Posted on 8/28/14 at 1:42 pm to lsujro
quote:
Really surprised by the amount of anti-credit card people on the money board.
When we were younger bucks, we had less self-control. Always spent just a little more than we should have.
Posted on 8/28/14 at 2:49 pm to lsujro
quote:
Really surprised by the amount of anti-credit card people on the money board. i have always been of the opinion that not using a card is throwing money away - the 1-2% rewards is basically baked in to the price of everything you buy. it's no different managing your money with a credit card than a checking account - just spend less than you make and you're good.
Maybe I can explain it this way. When I was young back in the 1950s I would stoop down to pick up a penny. Today, I will only stoop down to pick up a quarter...and that would be for the car wash machine.
A credit card reward of 1 percent does not interest me. If it was 20 percent, we'll talk.
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