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Posted by
Message
How To Manage Accounts For Marriage
Posted by RickAstley on 8/22/14 at 9:37 am00
I am looking for feedback regarding managing monetary accounts when married. Some background to start:
Both have:
Mutual funds/stock ownership in a taxable account
Checking
Savings
Credit Cards
One has:
Retirement (Roth IRA and 401k)
We wish to get feedback on what approach to take in handling our accounts. From others that are married or currently split money with someone else, what has worked best for you (regarding things such as bill paying, direct deposit, retirement plans)? We want to establish one account for paying bills or setting up a sensible structure. We also want to maintain some independent control over the outflow of money such as making gift purchases without the other knowing. I am not looking to go overboard on this, I am simply interested in feedback on things that are currently working for the board members.
Both have:
Mutual funds/stock ownership in a taxable account
Checking
Savings
Credit Cards
One has:
Retirement (Roth IRA and 401k)
We wish to get feedback on what approach to take in handling our accounts. From others that are married or currently split money with someone else, what has worked best for you (regarding things such as bill paying, direct deposit, retirement plans)? We want to establish one account for paying bills or setting up a sensible structure. We also want to maintain some independent control over the outflow of money such as making gift purchases without the other knowing. I am not looking to go overboard on this, I am simply interested in feedback on things that are currently working for the board members.
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by yellowfin on 8/22/14 at 9:45 am to RickAstley
quote:
Mutual funds/stock ownership in a taxable account
We kept those separate but also have a joint brokerage account
quote:
Checking
one checking joint, both paychecks direct deposit
quote:
Savings
one saving joint but it's rarely used, we use etrade account as savings
quote:
Credit Cards
several and we use them based on point programs, we both have cards on all accounts
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by RickAstley on 8/22/14 at 9:50 am to yellowfin
Thanks for the feedback
I think your layout makes great sense. We have plenty of time to get things merged and set up on our end. I certainly do not expect to get it right the first try, but I also do not want to take an approach where issues about money come into play.
I think your layout makes great sense. We have plenty of time to get things merged and set up on our end. I certainly do not expect to get it right the first try, but I also do not want to take an approach where issues about money come into play.
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by yellowfin on 8/22/14 at 9:57 am to RickAstley
We tried a few different ways when first married, what works for one couple may not work for the next.
My wife also manages all our finances, I don't even know how much money I make or how to log into our checking account
My wife also manages all our finances, I don't even know how much money I make or how to log into our checking account
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by LSUGUMBO on 8/22/14 at 10:33 am to RickAstley
Retirement accounts are all in separate names.
Joint checking
Joint Savings
Separate Tax Savings Accts (both self-employed)
Separate Credit Cards
For a while, we each had separate checking accts for our "play money", but when we started using credit cards for all of our expenses, we closed those out. Since our credit cards are not linked, then neither of us knows what the other is spending, which admittedly can be a bad thing- especially when the wife has packages showing up at the door several times/week.
Joint checking
Joint Savings
Separate Tax Savings Accts (both self-employed)
Separate Credit Cards
For a while, we each had separate checking accts for our "play money", but when we started using credit cards for all of our expenses, we closed those out. Since our credit cards are not linked, then neither of us knows what the other is spending, which admittedly can be a bad thing- especially when the wife has packages showing up at the door several times/week.
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by Salmon on 8/22/14 at 10:36 am to RickAstley
quote:
Mutual funds/stock ownership in a taxable account
separate
quote:
Checking
Savings
Credit Cards
these are all shared
We give each other a monthly cash "allowance" for our personal spending.
This has worked great for us.
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by PetreauxCat on 8/22/14 at 10:45 am to RickAstley
Everything is in my name, and I pay the bills. She has an AMEX and Visa tied to my accounts. She wouldn't know how to check our finances or pay the bills if she tried. She has a chase checking account that is seperate. When she needs cash I quickpay her the money.
This post was edited on 8/22 at 1:00 pm
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by hungryone on 8/22/14 at 11:44 am to PetreauxCat
we each have individ checking to receive paychecks, plus a joint account for household expenses. individ savings, too, plus a joint savings (online only higher interest rate acct)
too many couples leave all the financial details to one party. this is a recipe for disaster in case of illness, death, accident, etc. you should be sharing info and decisionmaking, even if one party shoulders the week to week task of money mgmt. in my line of work, i see many surviving spouses who have absolutely no clue how much it costs to maintain their lifestyles, as they've been shielded from money matters throughout their adult lives. this sets them up for great anxiety in their so-called 'golden years'.
i've heard many a widow lamenting her non-involvement...when she realizes that her investments have underperformed for years (managed by hubby's near-incompetent golf buddy) or that spending was out of line with income but she wasn't privy to hubby's true P&L picture...or simply that she's faced with a steep learning curve at a difficult time in life.
too many couples leave all the financial details to one party. this is a recipe for disaster in case of illness, death, accident, etc. you should be sharing info and decisionmaking, even if one party shoulders the week to week task of money mgmt. in my line of work, i see many surviving spouses who have absolutely no clue how much it costs to maintain their lifestyles, as they've been shielded from money matters throughout their adult lives. this sets them up for great anxiety in their so-called 'golden years'.
i've heard many a widow lamenting her non-involvement...when she realizes that her investments have underperformed for years (managed by hubby's near-incompetent golf buddy) or that spending was out of line with income but she wasn't privy to hubby's true P&L picture...or simply that she's faced with a steep learning curve at a difficult time in life.
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by LSURussian on 8/22/14 at 11:53 am to RickAstley
My wife and I have never had an argument over money simply because when we first got married we came to an agreement: her money is her money and my money is her money......
This post was edited on 8/22 at 1:45 pm
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by RickAstley on 8/22/14 at 1:24 pm to hungryone
quote:
too many couples leave all the financial details to one party.
I personally am trying to avoid this route, although I certainly can see how easy it is to get in such a situation.
Thanks to everyone for the responses so far. Just from what has been posted, different things certainly work for different couples. A lot of good information to work off of nonetheless
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re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by cave canem on 8/22/14 at 2:20 pm to hungryone
quote:
we each have individ checking to receive paychecks, plus a joint account for household expenses. individ savings, too, plus a joint savings (online only higher interest rate acct
Same here we both make a deposit in the joint account every month that more than covers all bills and roll the leftovers to a joint savings account. No money arguments or worrying about what the other spends. Works for us.
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by yellowfin on 8/22/14 at 2:23 pm to cave canem
How do you decide how much each of you contribute to joint account? Say one makes a lot more than the other?
My wife doesn't work so it would be great for me to do it that way
My wife doesn't work so it would be great for me to do it that way
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by TJG210 on 8/22/14 at 3:08 pm to RickAstley
Do you both have the same spending habits?
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by Zach on 8/22/14 at 3:20 pm to RickAstley
First wife (of 17 years) had tremendous spending addiction. I naively let everything be joint and let her handle whatever she wanted to handle. My first clue was when she wanted me to send 5 bags of her clothes to Good Will. I decided to peak into the bags. The clothes still had the tags on them. Never worn.
After divorce and dating randomly for 3 years I was convinced that women were incapable of managing money. After three years I met my 2nd (and current) wife. She made very good money and was deeply in debt. She laid it out straight. She wanted to marry me and admitted that she didn't like dealing with finances and I could have total control.
We've been married 18 years and doing very well. After a year of proving her discipline we joined accounts..banking, stocks, everything is joint. But I control it all.
Much more money is spent on her than me. I have very few needs and I'm happy to spoil her. But she doesn't spend without my permission.
After divorce and dating randomly for 3 years I was convinced that women were incapable of managing money. After three years I met my 2nd (and current) wife. She made very good money and was deeply in debt. She laid it out straight. She wanted to marry me and admitted that she didn't like dealing with finances and I could have total control.
We've been married 18 years and doing very well. After a year of proving her discipline we joined accounts..banking, stocks, everything is joint. But I control it all.
Much more money is spent on her than me. I have very few needs and I'm happy to spoil her. But she doesn't spend without my permission.
quote:
we each have individ checking to receive paychecks, plus a joint account for household expenses.
Ditto.
Works for us.
We basically determined how much we wanted to put cumulatively in the joint account monthly and used a %.
e.g. We want to put $1k in the Joint account each month. I make 75k she makes 25k so I put $750 of the $1k we need in the joint account monthly. It's all direct deposited, so it is effortless. We built in a cushion that acts as a savings too.
I initially made considerably more than she did, but she's trying to catch up and the % never changed .
I believe people put too much thought in to the meaning of a joint account. In the past when we had to write checks to pay bills and deposit pay checks, couples having separate accounts could make the whole process more cumbersome and problematic. The ease at which you can pay bills and transfer money between accounts now makes having multiple accounts very easy and IMO creates less money tension. She doesn't get mad at me when I spend way too much money on a fishing/hunting/golfing/etc weekend at the bar or restaurant or wherever. And I don't get mad at her for spending too much shopping for whatever it is she shops for. We each have our own money.
This post was edited on 8/22 at 3:57 pm
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by makersmark1 on 8/22/14 at 4:13 pm to RickAstley
all of our accounts are either joint or the other is beneficiary.
Married 23+ years.
Married 23+ years.
quote:
How do you decide how much each of you contribute to joint account? Say one makes a lot more than the other? My wife doesn't work so it would be great for me to do it that way
Sure, you can be completely linear and contribute to the household joint account based on earnings, but there are plenty of intangibles to consider. One spouse may be shouldering more of the housework or home maintenance, or errands. Don't those activities have a value? You'd have to pay someone to do that stuff if the spouse with more free time didn't handle it. Talk about it...you'll figure out what feels fair to both of you.
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by cave canem on 8/22/14 at 6:02 pm to hungryone
quote:
Sure, you can be completely linear and contribute to the household joint account based on earnings, but there are plenty of intangibles to consider. One spouse may be shouldering more of the housework or home maintenance, or errands. Don't those activities have a value? You'd have to pay someone to do that stuff if the spouse with more free time didn't handle it. Talk about it...you'll figure out what feels fair to both of you.
WOW, we just decided what we both could afford and were happy with.
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by LNCHBOX on 8/22/14 at 8:23 pm to PetreauxCat
quote:
Everything is in my name, and I pay the bills. She has an AMEX and Visa tied to my accounts. She wouldn't know how to check our finances or pay the bills if she tried. She has a chase checking account that is seperate. When she needs cash I quickpay her the money.
This doesn't seem like a good system. Your wife would basically be fricked if you died unexpectedly.
re: How To Manage Accounts For MarriagePosted by Blakely Bimbo on 8/25/14 at 10:31 am to RickAstley
Merging money only works if you both have the same values concerning money. From your description, sounds like you share a money philosophy. Need a joint account to pay bills.
If you are not already married, take a pre marriage inventory, and file it. You can gradually merge non retirement accounts over time, but you want to make sure that you have stated beneficiary on your retirement accounts. Make sure you both have wills.
Managing money together can make a marriage stronger, but then again disagreements about money can tear it apart.
If you are not already married, take a pre marriage inventory, and file it. You can gradually merge non retirement accounts over time, but you want to make sure that you have stated beneficiary on your retirement accounts. Make sure you both have wills.
Managing money together can make a marriage stronger, but then again disagreements about money can tear it apart.
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