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re: Why are couples that choose not to have kids looked down upon?
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:08 pm to dsides
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:08 pm to dsides
I am in my 30s, not married, no kids.
There's still so many expensive, time consuming things i enjoy and want to experience. Having kids will set those things back infinitely. I've got nieces and nephews I get to spoil to death, but don't have to look out for 24/7.
I've got nothing against people who do or do not have kids, as long as they aren't pieces of shite either way.
Do what you want with the limited time you have on earth, and don't be an a-hole.
There's still so many expensive, time consuming things i enjoy and want to experience. Having kids will set those things back infinitely. I've got nieces and nephews I get to spoil to death, but don't have to look out for 24/7.
I've got nothing against people who do or do not have kids, as long as they aren't pieces of shite either way.
Do what you want with the limited time you have on earth, and don't be an a-hole.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:09 pm to Jeff Boomhauer
I don't look down on them, but it is frustrating knowing they can have kids, but choose not; while my wife and I want kids but have to spend $10k + just to try to get pregnant.
This post was edited on 2/23/17 at 2:10 pm
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:12 pm to LSU6262
quote:
while my wife and I want kids but have to spend $10k + just to try to get pregnant.
pics of wife.... I may be able to help.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:15 pm to shel311
quote:
Must...not...click...comment.
FB should have a "Are you sure you want to comment?" Dialogue box or maybe a 30 second timer. Of course you can edit or delete but some people are quick on the draw.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:19 pm to Jeff Boomhauer
There was once a great comedian who is no longer great that made a statement that stuck with me after raising his kids - childless couples wherever you are - BE HAPPY!.
For me, I married a woman who couldn't have kids after having her second one. For my second marriage, my wife was 45 and I was 48. I didn't even get the question out of my mouth before I got a resounding NO. I knew then that I had found my soul mate.
For me, I married a woman who couldn't have kids after having her second one. For my second marriage, my wife was 45 and I was 48. I didn't even get the question out of my mouth before I got a resounding NO. I knew then that I had found my soul mate.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:25 pm to tgrbaitn08
Why is having kids not selfish? Are you saying people do it not to please themselves?
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:42 pm to dsides
quote:
Why are couples that choose not to have kids looked down upon?
Have you ever been around a married couple in their 40's that chose to not have kids? Selfish, narcissistic, immature, boring, never wrong, etc. Just terrible people all around.
You must know horrible people. By far the majority of people I know in their 40s without kids are great people including many who did not marry till much later in life and some are still trying to start families.
In fact the main reason I never judge families is most of the time we don't know their medical histories. My wife had some medical/fertility issues that we spent a ton of money on and many families deal with much worse.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:45 pm to NOLALGD
He's clearly talking about people who elected not to have kids. These people are usually pretty upfront about not wanting kids, and I suspect most don't like other people's kids.
I agree you can't judge blindly, but I think we're all targeting a certain demo here, the somewhat snobby, well educated set that has elected not to have kids and think traditional American family life is something to scoff at.
There is no fair way to make the allegation, but from a personal perspective, I'm guessing a lot of posters probably have anecdotal evidence of some of the most miserable people they know fitting into that category.
I agree you can't judge blindly, but I think we're all targeting a certain demo here, the somewhat snobby, well educated set that has elected not to have kids and think traditional American family life is something to scoff at.
There is no fair way to make the allegation, but from a personal perspective, I'm guessing a lot of posters probably have anecdotal evidence of some of the most miserable people they know fitting into that category.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:46 pm to Jeff Boomhauer
I don't think they are necessarily looked down upon - it's more of a pity thing. They will die lonely and miserable.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:51 pm to Jeff Boomhauer
Something I've noticed about (older) people who have never had kids: they are either super happy and love their life or they are the most miserable fricks you will ever meet. There's rarely an in between.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:52 pm to TigrrrDad
quote:
They will die lonely and miserable.
Having kids doesn't guarantee this won't happen. Just a FYI.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:54 pm to TigrrrDad
quote:
I don't think they are necessarily looked down upon - it's more of a pity thing. They will die lonely and miserable.
I don't care either way, but this is silly.
You can still have siblings, nieces, nephews, friends, etc. Not having kids doesn't mean you'll die alone.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:56 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
He's clearly talking about people who elected not to have kids. These people are usually pretty upfront about not wanting kids, and I suspect most don't like other people's kids.
No they're not. You just see the vocal ones more - as is the case with most things (vegans, conservatives, liberals, atheists, christians).
Plenty of people don't want kids but still don't make it some defining aspect of their personality.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:56 pm to lsuwontonwrap
quote:
Having kids doesn't guarantee this won't happen
but not having them pretty much does
Posted on 2/23/17 at 2:59 pm to Jeff Boomhauer
quote:
Why are couples that choose not to have kids looked down upon?
By strangers, or friends?
If strangers then you are entirely too concerned with the opinions of people you don't know. If its your friends, then, find better friends. Have you looked around the world lately? There are many more things to be concerned about. Be happy, save money for your own nursing home, and live life.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 3:00 pm to mpar98
quote:
but not having them pretty much does
Depends on the size of your family. If you have cousins, siblings, nieces and nephews you'll be fine. My dad was like a son to my aunt and uncle who never had kids and cared for them in their older years. Depends on how much your family loves you. Just don't be a grouchy a-hole and you should be okay.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 3:02 pm to Jeff Boomhauer
Because everyone wishes they never had kids and are jealous of the freedom
Posted on 2/23/17 at 3:06 pm to Jeff Boomhauer
quote:
Why are couples that choose not to have kids looked down upon?
I think it's because of jealousy. Not saying that parents would regret having their kids. But I imagine being married 15 years while raising 3 kids - the financial burden, time commitment, etc. would make you slightly envious of the couples with free time and disposable income for nice vacations and other things.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 3:36 pm to SaintBrees
quote:
No they're not. You just see the vocal ones more - as is the case with most things (vegans, conservatives, liberals, atheists, christians).
Unless people I know are hiding atheism and veganism, they're pretty loud and upfront about it. I can't account for people who I can't put into the category in the first place.
I know exactly one couple that is adamant about not having kids, and they're truly awful human beings. I know others that don't have kids, but most I either know are trying, have tried, or will try.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 3:39 pm to Tigerfan56
quote:
I think it's because of jealousy. Not saying that parents would regret having their kids. But I imagine being married 15 years while raising 3 kids - the financial burden, time commitment, etc. would make you slightly envious of the couples with free time and disposable income for nice vacations and other things.
Do yall really know a lot of people like this? I know (pretty well, at least) probably 5 couples that don't have kids (I'm ignoring newlyweds). Two almost certainly will have kids, I'm pretty confident one will, and two I don't think will.
One set are good friends who travel a lot, party hard but are very counterculture in many ways. I can see envying a couple of things about their life, but overall, not so much.
The other set are absolute garbage human beings.
I just don't think, particularly in the south, it's all that common to find couples living the high life who aren't also on their way to eventually having kids.
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