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Message
re: Agree or disagree? (Father's Day related)
Posted on 6/14/14 at 3:06 pm to onmymedicalgrind
Posted on 6/14/14 at 3:06 pm to onmymedicalgrind
quote:Would be an interesting study.
Would you extrapolate this further and say not only different sex, but also different race, ethnicity, cultural background, etc etc would lead to even more diversity of care?
Insofar as there is substantial and somewhat predictable variance between sexes (men are from Mars; women are from Venus) male-female diversity of exposure probably trumps race, ethnicity, etc. The latter tend to be less socially predictable (i.e., multivariance within the set).
Stability is an important consideration too. Probably more so than diversity.
Take the example of a traditional family -- Mother, Father, 2 kids -- then add the caveat they are Jewish in 1940 Germany. Social instability/shunning/attack would likely lead to a lesser outcome. Obviously on a different paradigm, but gay couples, certain ethnicities, etc. might have to fight through societal stigmatization affecting outcome.
Posted on 6/14/14 at 3:51 pm to onmymedicalgrind
quote:Sounds logical.
Would you extrapolate this further and say not only different sex, but also different race, ethnicity, cultural background, etc etc would lead to even more diversity of care?
Posted on 6/14/14 at 4:03 pm to Roger Klarvin
quote:Oh really? And what might that "deeply held personal conviction about homosexuality" be?
I think you're using anecdotes and personal experience to erroneously justify a deeply held personal conviction about homosexuality. You have a belief and are trying to shaoe the world to fit into that belief.
For the record, I think two gay people can make excellent parents. Heck, a single gay person can make an excellent parent. A single straight person can make an excellent parent.
I've counseled gays for over 25 years. I think that true homosexuals (as opposed to environmental, experimental, etc) are born gay. I've never once tried to change someone from their true nature. I've pleaded with parents not to send their gay kids to reparative therapy, which I think is an abomination. When my own 27 year old nephew (by marriage) came out a few years back, out of all the people in the world that he knows (he's in grad school, so he has easy access to campus shrinks), he turned to me for help with his decision and then to help him come out to his family.
So what exactly are my prejudices against gays?
I repeat my OP premise: Children who have both a mother and a father in the home benefit not just from more care, but from a diversity of care. That conviction is based somewhat on experience, both as a parent of 33 years and as a shrink, somewhat on training, but mostly on logic. A woman assuming the role of a man is not the same thing as a man. A man assuming the role of a woman is not the same thing as a woman. Can they approximate the other sex? Sure, but it's merely that, an approximation. It's a self-evident truth.
Posted on 6/14/14 at 4:07 pm to L.A.
quote:
Los Angeles
quote:Best of luck with that!
as a shrink
NCT is not envious
Posted on 6/14/14 at 4:09 pm to NC_Tigah
I'm semi-retired now. A man can only take so much.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 3:18 pm to NC_Tigah
quote:The guy is comparing stable heterosexual parents to any family (including single parent) where one of the parents had a homosexual experience at some point... something the author doesn't define. This could even include a male - female set of parents where one parent comes out late or simply has a threesome. Your study proves nothing.
Oh there was vicious attack directed at the piece, the editor, etc.
For the most part, critique had far more to do with pro-gay standard bearers than it did the validity of M/F parenting. In that regard, I've seen nothing to suggest a gay single parent vs a straight single parent generate measurably different outcomes.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 3:24 pm to L.A.
quote:None of which includes documented evidence. But having a PhD you would already know that... Can you even detail your logic?
That conviction is based somewhat on experience, both as a parent of 33 years and as a shrink, somewhat on training, but mostly on logic.
Would you logic be that: Males and females have different expressive traits, and different expressive traits are good for childhood development. Therefore your logic should extend to:
Multi-Racial parents
Parents who are just very different from each other
Polygamy
etc
Your logic would have to assume that "diversity" in parents always leads to better adjusted kids. This "diversity" would have to include male and female traits specifically. The traits expressed by male and female would outweigh any other trait differences between two same sex couples. It would have to outweigh the "diversity" offered in may other circumstances.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 3:36 pm to L.A.
quote:
Proposition: Children who have both a mother and a father in the home benefit not just from more care, but from a diversity of care.
What is "diversity of care" ?
Posted on 6/16/14 at 3:41 pm to SpidermanTUba
quote:The OP identified it as a "male and female".
What is "diversity of care" ?
Posted on 6/16/14 at 4:28 pm to mmcgrath
quote:
The OP identified it as a "male and female".
Oh.
So a black male and a white male doesn't count as "diversity" then.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 4:40 pm to SpidermanTUba
You seem to be participating without having read the OP.
Here it is:
Here it is:
quote:
Proposition: Children who have both a mother and a father in the home benefit not just from more care, but from a diversity of care.
Agree or disagree?
quote:Already asked and answered in the thread.
So a black male and a white male doesn't count as "diversity" then.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 5:10 pm to L.A.
This post was edited on 12/18/18 at 4:15 pm
Posted on 6/16/14 at 5:37 pm to L.A.
All things comparable, it's probably better in that it is a social "norm" that adds no additional stress on adolescence, provides clear role models of moth masculinity and femininity (not always gender based) and enables a child to have mentoring on biological and psychological issues that a particular gender can offer.
I say this as a huge advocate for same sex adoption.
I say this as a huge advocate for same sex adoption.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 5:46 pm to L.A.
Yes. A two parent, heterosexual, loving, intelligent couple is the most preferable situation.
I don't see anything disputable about that.
I don't see anything disputable about that.
Posted on 6/16/14 at 5:56 pm to onmymedicalgrind
quote:
Would you extrapolate this further and say not only different sex, but also different race, ethnicity, cultural background, etc etc would lead to even more diversity of care?
I don't think this would add much at all. In reality there really isn't "diversity of care" between husband, wife and child because the husband and wife are going to have to be on the same page in how they raise/teach/discipline, etc. The benefit to the child is the blending of styles that leads to the whole.
Now certainly having parents that have varied experiences, family histories, etc. can enrich the childhood, but I don't think it leads to better care like a 2 parent vs 1 parent does.
This post was edited on 6/16/14 at 5:59 pm
Posted on 6/16/14 at 5:58 pm to mmcgrath
quote:When I posted the one answer reply, I had not read the thread to note that the emphasis had moved to gay couples. I guess I should have gotten that from the OP but I took the OP literally abd assumed the question was one of two vs one parent homes
You clearly said that you agree with OP, including saying that there is only "one answer".
Posted on 6/16/14 at 6:17 pm to ShortyRob
quote:The primary emphasis was one parent vs. two parent homes. I said that early on page 1:
When I posted the one answer reply, I had not read the thread to note that the emphasis had moved to gay couples. I guess I should have gotten that from the OP but I took the OP literally abd assumed the question was one of two vs one parent homes
quote:
Actually, I was thinking more of single parent homes vs. two parent homes. I read today that about 41% of kids in America right now are born into single parent homes. I was wondering if we've lost sight of the importance of a mom AND a dad in the home.
However, someone (I don't remember who) brought gay parents into the discussion, and that's fine because my underlying premise concerns the value of having both a mother AND a father in the home.
That means I'm contending that, all things being equal, a home with a mother and a father provides more care (ie quantity) and more diversity of care than:
1. A home with just a mother
2. A home with just a father
3. A home with two mothers
4. A home with two father
Posted on 6/16/14 at 6:42 pm to L.A.
yes in most cases this is so.
There are things that a father can teach a son/daughter that the mother can't. Same with the mother.
There are things that a father can teach a son/daughter that the mother can't. Same with the mother.
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