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I guarantee you're an unhappily married man.

Electrical problems are a PITA to diagnose. But the first thing I would do is check to make sure all your grounds look good. I once had a problem similar to yous with a Chrysler minivan and it turns out one of the ground straps was corroded (green). took it apart and brushed it, put it back together and it worked fine.

But check your grounds and your battery first.

Flux capacitor

Get a volt meter. With engine at idle, take the volt meter leads and put to each battery terminal. I don't know what the specs are for Mopar autos but for GM the voltage should be no less than 13v. If it's less than 13v, you probably need a new altenator.

Eta...if you don't have a volt meter, just go to an advanced auto parts or auto zone and they can check it for you for free.

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I'll check those straps shortly. I just got a new battery back in February so I really don't think the battery is the problem.

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Not just the ground to the battery, but the ground to the engine block/frame. It's just a screw or bolt. Take it off and clean it up with some sandpaper and put it back (if corrosion). If you had the car up in Syracuse for any length of time there is a good chance the grounds became corroded.

Set it on fire, take the insurance money and buy something that is not a Chrysler product.

If not, check the BCM and TIPM as already stated. Doesn't sound like an alternator problem. If if were the alternator, it would drain your battery and you would have to jump it off constantly.

Grease monkey is probably right...

But if it's not the BCM I'd look at the ignition switch.. The one thing that all of the items that you mention have in common is the ignition switch. When you turn the key to the position right before starting all of the dash lights you mentioned should come on.

You turning the switch supplies power to all those items. There should be a small switch module mounted somewhere below your ignition key switch. When you spin the key it spins a gear that turns all that stuff on. They are usually easy to replace and only cost about 30 dollars.

it's a fuse. it's the ones located under your hood. there should be around 6-9 of them.

check each one with a test light and you will find the one that is "out".

Weird issues on newer cars can sometimes be resolved with a new battery. If the battery is over a few years old I would start there.